Glee-Cap! Top Bitches: Season 2, Episode 4

Remember last week when I asked Where is Puck? he's in Juvenille Detention for driving a volvo into a convenience store. At least he's still in those diegetic American Express commercials. Sigh. I miss him.

"A Duet is when two voices become one, where the two voices push one another to be better."

I want to say that that happened in all the duets this week, I want to... but it's hard to tell if that really is what's going on here.

The Glee club was torn apart over competition for a dinner for two at Breadsticks this week, and Sam's deep dark secret was revealed... with the help of Kurt.

Brittney and Santana broke up this week, and Santana was proven to be a cold, unfeeling reptile about it.

This whole thing made me very sad... It makes me very confused to see how sympathetically Kurt's homosexuality is treated, and how very, very sad everything about Brittney and Santana's experimentation-or-maybe-more relationship is handled. In fact, everything abotu Brittney makes me very sad. While Santana and Brittney go off and do a duet, Brittney seduces Artie into a duet, and while they don't end up singing together, they make "beautiful music together". "Beautiful Music" that Artie ends up regretting and telling Brittney off about it.

While sex doesn't mean THAT much to Brittney, it's clear that it's a major part of her personality. That for Brittney at least, it's a way to get attention, to get people to like her... at least as long as they want that from her. And now that she doesn't have a partner in crime... she's totally alone. What is going to happen to her? SERIOUSLY??? Please Glee. Treat her a little bit seriously, or you will make me cry and that WILL make me hate you.

Everyone else in this episode is pretty much trying to be Alpha Glee Club Member. Rachel is trying to do what is best for the team by manipulating Quinn and Sam into doing the winning Duet. Kurt feels alone... and Finn is a bit of a psychopath. Is Rachel rubbing off on him? is this psychopathy what lies beneath his somewhat vacant victim status? Regardless, Finn tries to keep Kurt from partnering with Sam to keep him from being picked on so he'll stay in Glee and then gets upset when he and Quinn are actually connecting. Kurt knows about Sam's dark, or rather, light, secret... which I won't tell you, but I will say it's not that he speaks Na'vi.

 

Which Glee you get bonus points for +5

Lady Chart:

Santana: Evil Reptile +2 for actually having lines and for being jealous of Brittney and Artie for a moment.

Brittney: Is so sad. +4 for setting me up but there's +10 in it if they follow up on her.

Tina: Wants to do non-"Asian" things with her Asian Boyfriend. Like eating a salad         without chicken feet in it. +3 for actually having lines.

Rachel: Psychopath, but reaches out to Kurt legitimately at the end. +5 for growth.

Quinn: Beginning to recover from her broken heart while being her own, manipulative self. +5

Mercedes: Sang a song. no points

There weren't any other women in it this week, also, no Puck and no Stamos. At any rate. This week was not terrible, though I'm not going to call it good because it made me very worried for Brittney and not in the "they're making me worried through careful crafting" but in the "I really don't know if they care about what they're doing with her here or not" way and that is bad.

Tune in next week, I have yet to become whole-hog Gleek nor have I fallen into a slushee-filled despair. We shall see.

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Glee-Cap: The Imaginarium of Dr Stamos, Season 2, Episode 2

THE BRITNEY/BRITTNEY SPEARS EPISODE

Brittney S. Pierce finally is getting featured on this episode of Glee. Answering the question of "what is going on in there" definitively and authoritatively. Ha, I'm kidding, we still have no idea what is going on with Brittney. Though I have a theory or two, but until Glee actually puts more of her into the story there's no way to judge.

This episode featured the entrance into the Glee cast of JOHN STAMOS as dreamy dentist Dr. Carl, Ms. Pillsbury's new boyfriend who, through a commitment to the oral hygiene of the Glee Club students, hallucinogenic anesthesia and a Brittney Spears play list on Pandora.com sends a fair number of cast members on vision quests in the key of Millennial Pop Tart.

Luckily for us all, Santana and Brittney got a chance to sing and dance, which they do with feeling and frankly just make Rachel's songs in this episode look like a kids' jazz class recital. Sorry Rachel Fans, they do.

Lots to say this week, but ultimately, the more screen time you give Santana and Brittney the better, proven in this weeks episode... Spoilers after the break.


Mr Shue did things in this episode, which pretty much guarantees that half the episode is a lost cause but then... out of the blue... STAMOS. As the most attractive dentist ever. He is busy being amazing, and handsome and being a genuinely good partner to Ms. Pillsbury. Confident and strong enough to help her overcome her OCD and to point out thoroughly just everything that isn't perfect about Mr. Shue.

To save all of you my harping on this storyline, I will instead rely on this dramatic depiction of what happens when you attempt to define yourself by the standards of STAMOS from the Animated Classic Clone High U.S.A. : (note: you should really watch the whole season) (other note: it's graphically violent)



Principal Scudworth highlights than when up against such a resplendent light of manliness, you should just give up, as Scudworth learns at the end of Episode 13 when Stamos won Prom King but gave up the title after the clip he also sacrifices himself (already injured by that crown stabbing) to save Scudworth and thwart the Board of Shadowy Figures. Long story short: The characters Stamos play are just good guys.

As happens whenever we profile Mr. Shue, Crazy Ex-Wife Mrs. Shue shows up and looks bad. I will however give props to Ms. Pillsbury, because while this is all too much, and she puts up with a lot of pushy weirdness from Mr. Shue this episode, she seems pretty reasonably confused by her feelings and is being honest with both her current boyfriend, STAMOS, and Mr. Shue about it. She's trying to improve herself and her life and hopefully, that desire will rub off on those around her.



Meanwhile, Rachel's interpretation of Hit Me Baby One More time gives new meaning to "like watching a 7 year old acting sexy." A better choice might have been "not a girl, not yet a woman" because while there is a spark of this arc being true to a teenager's insecurity in social and romantic situations, I.... I just can't care about whether or not she succeeds.

It does bother me that is seems to be utterly acceptable that she treats her boyfriend in this manner, sneaking around getting people to lie to him. I mean, really? It's a consequenceless world as long as she plays into Finn's narrative victimization?

LadyChart of Character Growth:

 Britney:

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? ribbon for participation at best here Glee

 

But yes, Britney rocks.

 

 more please. 

 Ms. Pillsbury:

Rational, trying to get her head together, reacting calmly to crazy things happening around her. Also dating John Stamos.

Solid. Point to you Glee

 Mrs. Shue:

Shows up to be a crazy ex wife. In her defense, she vented honestly because her ex-husband who pays spousal support is getting a crazy-new-car he can't afford.

Breaking even.

 Sue:

Pulls the fire alarm because of inappropriate Homecoming Rally behavior, but in her mind, because a sex riot is breaking out.

Uh.... No Points, no character growth, not sure if it is backsliding or not.  Excellent use of the word Frottage though.

Coach Beiste:

Lets Finn and Arty onto the football team despite earlier drama.

No Change in Characterization, only onscreen to perform that action. 

 Santana:

Whorish, Sticks up for her friend, hell of a dancer. No Change.

"Rachel, while you're dressed like you're trying to impress a Japanese businessman with a very dark, specific fetish, I actually dig this look"

 Rachel:

Manipulates Finn blatantly asking Quinn to lie to him and attempt to seduce him, Asks Finn to give up things that mean a lot to him to suit her vanity, Dresses Sluttishly to get attention,  Acts insecure.

Really? No Change.

"I've never dressed like a pretty girl because I never believed I was one, but now I feel like it's ok sometimes. "

As a note Rachel, I really do believe you know what it feels like to strangle a baby bird. 

Quinn:

Shows up to lie to Finn for Rachel. Good Friend or Just Evil?

regardless, no growth.

 Tina:

Still dating Mike, has good teeth. No Change

 Mercedes:

WHY DO WE ONLY SEE HER WHEN SHE'S SAYING SOMETHING WITH ATTITUDE? At Best, no change. 

Before I throw my hands up and say good riddance for another week, Glee, THE REACTIONS OF THE TEENAGE BOYS TO RACHEL'S OUTFIT WERE UTTERLY, EMBARRASSINGLY, INAPPROPRIATE.

Especially Jacob Ben Israel, in the real world, this kid would have been sent home by way of the therapist and suspended if not worse.

But even more tellingly, in real life, Artie, Finn and a dozen other characters would have been suspended for the way they responded to Rachel. Maybe not in every school but certainly every one I ever attended. While I tend to focus on portrayals of female characters doing bad things and they're there. This wasn't ok, Glee. For shame.

Did other people find this funny? Horrifying? wtf? am I over-reacting? Where was Puck? Weigh in in the comments.

Next week, if there's a god, more Stamos.

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Glee-Cap! New Directions... towards hell. Season 2, Episode 1

You'll have to forgive me this season my dear readers, I fully intend to re-cap Glee, but I also know that there are many things that will stand in my way of punctual re-capping: work, painful shoes one wears to functions, dinosaurs, and speaking engagements, but enough about me. Our plucky young show choir shares many of my challenges this fall in getting you an insightful and hopefully hilarious recounting of their antics, Cheerios, Schoolwork (HA! when have we ever seen this kids in a class), Football Season, and of course, DRAMA!!!!

They haven't won sectionals and now must prepare themselves for their own Autumn trials and travails. They have become minor celebrities on the blog of the school newscaster, but no one is signing up to audition for Glee Club!!! GASP!

"These girls have been lined up since mid-July, one girl ate a pigeon, a few started worshipping a dead possum carcass as their Lord" -Sue

Thank you Sue, I needed that.

The rest of this episode, I'm not sure any of us actually needs.

I know it's the first episode of the season, but wow. The only place you thought you could take this was "Lets make sure they're doing vile things all the time. That'll make you root for them and think of them as plucky underdogs."

As always, spoilers after the jump, also, ontology. Deep Breath and JUMP!



Oh, and anyone who has ever been in a Public High School arts program knows, the beginning of the year comes with budget cuts that must be fought tooth and nail for your program's very survival. Glee Club is no suggestion, but this time, Sue's Cheerios budget is at risk well. GASP!

Coach Beiste, a particularly androgynous football coach with 5 consecutive national football championships under her belt. (yes, her).

Nationals are in New York this year. And so to recruit, they sing this, even after the online poll explicitly pleas to Mr. Schue to not rap. ever.



It fell flat. So what are they to do?

Well, by awkwardly and disrespectfully recruiting transfer and exchange students in bathrooms. Why is there a transfer student showering alone during class time? also, why aren't the lights on? When does this happen? And why does Finn have time to stalk him? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING???

So, Sue and Mr. Shue are teaming up to try and harry the new coach. But she is handling it with maturity and compassion, while holding the football players

Asian Camp. REALLY? ok, it was a dream. WHY WAS HE ALMOST NAKED??? well, I shouldn't complain too much, we're only a few minutes in and this is really not a "problem" per se.

OK, it's just clear to me that the first few segments of this episode are an homage to man crushing. The Glee Club guys all really like Sam, a comic book loving transfer student who as I mentioned was naked in the shower. Also, Mike Chang, has been upgraded to almost full character, Trina's boyfriend etc... Oh yeah, he was almost naked in the Asian Camp sequence.

Meanwhile, Rachel is deeply threatened by talented exchange student from the Philippines, Sunshine, whose name I am not making up.

As we see with Coach Beiste, who is initially such a stereotype that it barely deserves mentioning, is shown to be nuanced. Even when she misunderstands Finn's attempt to get Artie (guy in the wheelchair) onto the football team.



Upside, she flipped out and Finn is off the team.

I must point out that this is Mr. Shue's fault, because I do not like him. Also, because, in this episode, his infantile, mary-sue-ish innocence is lost. Sue gets him to prank and haze Coach Beiste and in so doing, he finally does something that makes him have to look inwards. It should not be lost just how childish the behavior Sue and Shue engaged in ordering pizzas to the locker room, not letting Coach Beiste sit at their lunch table. This seems pretty intentional on the part of the writer. Ultimately, this show is about high school, and they seem to be trying to celebrate that on several levels.

What I think is going on. While I never rule out bad shrimp or accidentally taking crazy pills instead of Advil, Glee is setting up the pins only to knock them down later.

This however, is the SANE part of the show. Up until this commercial break, things have been back and forth, a little confusing, but a little funny. At this point, things turn around and become so insane and mixed up that I do not know where to begin.

Quinn and Finn are both auditioning for the Cheerios, Quinn earns her spot through her ability to leverage her personal narrative Finn on the other hand, is desperate. Having been kicked off the football team wants something to replace it. Mr. Shue and Coach Beiste have a showdown in the Principal's office, where Mr. Shue manages to make it all about him.

Santana got a boob job because she wanted to get more attention. Sue demotes her from team captain because she doesn't approve. Quinn is back on top of both the squad, the chastity club and the pyramid. Of course, then it turns into a cat fight of epic proportions.

After courting their prospects, no one shows up to auditions.

Brittney and Sue get ugly, Brittney accuses Coach Beiste of touching her inappropriately, then... uh... she says she actually wants to touch Coach Beiste's boobs. Yeah, I must have taken crazy pills. This is just beyond absurd.

Rachel sent Sunshine to an actual crack house when she directed her to auditions.  Trina, Mike and Mr. Shue tell her she has to make it right, so they reschedule auditions in the auditorium and Sunshine blows them away.



Ultimately, characters are supposed to be people and THESE ARE TERRIBLE PEOPLE. Felony terrible. Rachel admits she did these terrible things because she loves herself too much and didn't want someone stealing her spotlight.  Then she sings about how she did all this for love.

THEN IT ENDS.

Setting us all up for "personal growth" by making sure the bar is as low as humanly possible.

As is my custom, let's break down the female characters in last night's episode:

Rachel - selfish, sends foreign exchange student to crack house where she is robbed, even after admitting she didn't do it for "the good of the club" she doesn't get that her utter self-serving pathology is not ok.

Quinn- is back where she was before she got pregnant, possibly hypocritical celibacy club president, cheer captain, and protegee of Sue.

Santana- Boob Job for attention, starts cat fight in hallway with Quinn. Is angry, that's her emotion, it's her only emotion. 

Trina- Asian, Now it's really a "thing". Object of remorse/stalking for Artie, Deus ex Machina.

Brittney- rain man shit. Accuses someone of molestation then says she wants to touch their boobs, skulks around the background looking plastic and clutching dolls to her neck.

Coach Beiste- When I say they make her nuanced, she is on a roller coaster of emotive behavior. Alternately stereotypically threatening and compassionate. She is trying to do right, but dag nabbit, her female vulnerability causes her to persecute poor innocent Finn who just wanted to get his disabled friend on the football team. She was out of line, but also, there is a tone it was about her hurt feelings. I am conflicted here, I have to hope that conflict is their goal. 

Sue- Vacillates between felonies and immature pranks, also, wildly judgemental. On the plus side... that's consistent?

Overall for a show that is reported to be "funny" none of this was funny, it was appalling.

Will I need to turn this into a drinking game as a coping mechanism? or will it just drive me to drink? you'll have to tune in to find out.

Haven't gotten enough hilarious despair? hilspair? despairious? despairity? Check out Caitlin Burns' blog The Mystery of Girls Media or on Twitter: Caitlin_Burns

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Glee-Cap: Sincertity is the New Irony

 

"Who cares about what happens at the end when the getting there is so much fun?

So, Tuesday was the Season Finale of Glee– Journey– yes it was two days ago and yes I'm just now getting to this, but it took me so long because not only will I be Glee-capping the Season 1 Finale, I'm glee-capping with special guest Fangirl, Evangelia, who is 7 and a true Gleek.

             ME:                                                                                          Evangelia:

So Evangelia What Happened on the Finale?

They tried to go to regionals but they didn’t win. Sue actually voted for 

them to win but nobody would accept that ‘cause she’s one of the main villains.

Why is she a villain?

Because she never really got along with the teacher of the glee club. 

Why?

Because they would take away from her cheer squad and they

might become more popular than the cheerios.

So, the club had to prove itself at Regionals or be dissolved. Sue became a judge because "she's a celebrity", ensuring that the glee club would lose. To parallel the story of the teachers squabbling over the future of the club, Quinn and motherhood were a storyline, also, Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury had a thing.

But the real core of the finale was confidence. The show was written more confidently than many of the other episodes this season and all the characters acted with more certainty and confidence towards their goals than at any other point in the first season. That proved to be a great thing for some characters, a questionable one for others.

So follow after the jump and hear more about Confident Women, Childbirth, and the insight of the extremely astute Evangelia .

"Being part of something special made me special" 
                            -Tina

The beginning of the episode, the Glee club is down because of Sue's evil machinations, but they buck up quickly because their trials and tribulations together have given them the strength to persevere and overcome obstacles to do what they love. 

But what do they love? It manifests in different ways, Finn tells Rachel he loves her and they are clearly getting back together. Finn has the confidence to do what he loves and be with who he loves despite the opinions of others.

Suddenly, Quinn's Mom pops up having left Quinn's philandering father (not because of his treatment of Quinn mind you) and wants Quinn back in her life, even offering to turn a room into a nursery for her baby. Quinn is so startled she promptly goes into labor. 

Evangelia, who is your favorite character?

Quinn Fabaray– because she was one of the top bad guys 

at the beginning but because she’s changed. 

Before she was really mean and on Sue’s side and now 

she’s nice and on Glee’s side.  She’s nice even though 

she was angry about not being in cheerleading anymore.

Labor, oh the childbirth scene. Having given labor, I can say mine didn't go that quickly, and of course Quinn looked much more quaffed than many delivering mothers. I forgive you Glee for you portrayal of childbirth because 1) that scene going for 16 hours would be lame, 2) even though no hospital would allow that many people in the delivery room it's the best Mercedes-Quinn we're going to get in this episode since it's only an hour and 3) Bohemian Rhapsody is a great song.

Pictured: Not Beth

But, the most telling sign of confidence is that, while Quinn clearly adores the baby, she has the confidence and self-possession to be startled by her mother's appearance and to stick to her guns later in the episode and put Beth up for adoption, she is confident in her decision. She is clear in her thinking, aware of her situation and making hard choices. 

So let's take it back to Evangelia:

Who do you think is the best singer?

Rachel- because she sings SO MUCH and practices so much.

She set herself a target and aimed for it the whole time.

She’s sort of like… she sometimes got so focused that she was mean to people.

Rachel confronts Ms. Cocoran who once again refuses to become the mom Rachel really wants. Ms. Cocoran does hear about Quinn's baby and by the end of the episode is adopting Beth. This has already caused a flurry of controversy online among fans, does Ms. Cocoran deserve Beth? 

For my two cents, yes, because she will give that baby a good home and will devote herself to that baby. The fact that she was not there for Rachel is tragic, but doesn't preclude her being a good mother in a different situation. Giving Ms. Cocoran the baby makes an important point, the idea that someone should be prevented from giving a child a stable, loving home if they want to is... missing the point of adoption. That is something Ms. Cocoran has the inclination and ability to do, even if she can't be emotionally available to the daughter she gave birth to and relinquished parenting of to a stable home years earlier. 

But I digress, the point is, even if Ms. Cocoran is an imperfect mother, she's an interesting and complex character and for a character who is decidedly secondary to the main storyline, that's some impressive stuff. Point to you, Glee.

On the heels of that point, Glee, let's talk about Ms. Pillsbury:

 

Pictured: Owl Face

Do you remember how she pretended to be in love with someone to marry them for security only to jilt them at the alter (which admittedly, the fiance saw coming) to hook up with Mr. Shue and destroy his marriage only to then decide that it was too soon and also that she was terrified of her sexuality?

Yeah, neither do I. She got into a screaming match with the principal and once again won Mr. Shue's love. That and he was jealous that she was seeing someone else.

I feel like just listing that storyline does my work for me. Let's try a little harder with her next season, shall we Glee? She disappeared for seriously, half-a-season, and now she's empowered, are you saying that, once empowered, women cease to be interesting???? like a said Glee, work harder.

 

Pictured: Love!...?...!

But for all my studied hatin' I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the episode, even my husband, hiding in another room as only a man avoiding something his wife enjoys can noted that "that's a really nice version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow." I really felt like the story was pushing itself to fit as much as it could into a one-hour season finale and it did a good a job of tying those strings together as it possibly could, and even more important, it made me excited for the next season. 

So Evangelia, What do you hope that there’s more of in the second season?


I hope that there’s a stronger friendship with Mercedes and Quinn

Me too, they're great together, Anything else?


I hope there’s more Santana, she and her tricks are so cool, 

and Brittney ‘cause she is so funny.

This season of Glee is over, but tune in next week for another Glee-Cap with Evangelia 
this time about Glee Live! 
which Evangelia was lucky enough to see at Rockefeller Center

And if you miss me, and you know you will, check me out on Twitter: Caitlin_Burns

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Glee-Cap: Are you funking kidding me?

 "Tell me if this is too suggestive..."

 It's not, I'm pretty bored.

Ok, from here on in, Will Schuester, is going to be called Mary Sue, because let's be honest, that's what he is. Increasingly, every time he's onscreen I open up a big old bag of not giving a shit. If you're not familiar with the term Mary Sue: here educate yourself. 

A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".

But the major take away on the concept is that the character is so beloved by the writer/producer/whatever that they are just painfully, annoyingly PRECIOUS.

"Even your breath stinks of mediocrity"...




Also, in a storyline that literally had no utility except to provide Puck with an opportunity to sing Loser. Which I fully support. Because that was fun. The boys, Finn and Puck slashed tires of the Vocal Adrenalin's Range Rovers, in order to "Defend the honor of New Directions" after their choir room was T.P.ed. Now, this charming turn of events does give some commentary on the misguided chivalry expected of young men in this modern era, and the escalation of school prankery into astronomically difficult levels.

"Their School Statue is a Great White Shark eating a seal pup, it weighs three tons."

Even more frustrating than Mary Sue's storyline- that can I say managed to totally neutralize Sue's character which is not funny, literally, not funny in humor or being okay- we saw the return of Mrs. Sue (like what I did there?)

Quinn! Pregnantly singing with a chorus of unwed pregnant teen mothers. I'm going to call this the weekly interlude in WTF? because yeah, last week it was Artie's Safety Dance, and seriously, WTF? I've been pregnant, bouncing around like that it SUCH a fantasy. ... and group hug and back to our regularly scheduled show.

But not quite! we'll be taking a strange reprise later on in the episode, Mercedes and Quinn are moving in together based on a series of scenes that feel a little like Tyra Banks crying 'cause she had to wear a fat suit. That would be, your realization that you've been horrible means that not only are you destroyed by your own crushed vanity, but the people you've been horrid to have to comfort you as well.

I like Quinn and Mercedes as a pair, they can learn from one another, they're less crass than TyTy, but lets also be fair, if the writers are phoning this in it can go all sorts of wrong and very quickly. I applaud Mercedes ability to love thy former enemy, but also, unless you're planning to do more exploration of this storyline, and please, do more exploration of this storyline, it will be angering.

Ok Glee, lets be serious for a moment about pacing, five 30 second conversations do not BFFs make.  Also, I'm confused here, how is moving out of Puck's house the answer to all Quinn's problems? Puck wanted to step up to the plate more, and by Quinn's own words, it's ok there except that Puck's mom won't let her eat bacon. Where did I miss the squalor? Where did I miss the deep shared connection? was that pregnant chick ballet and discussion of how hard it is to be called fat the thing that brought them together?  This seems wholly precipitous and if you screw this up for me I will hunt you down and punch you in your face, show.

You did so well for me with Lady Gaga last week, lets not forget how well you did with that and see that you bring it next week at Regionals!!!

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Glee-Cap: On Absent Mothers...

A lot happened in last night's Glee, Dream On,



There was Neil Patrick Harris as a School-Board, Budget-Cutting, Show-Choir-Anonymous Used-Hummer Salesman. He had some great monologues.

It had Artie (who is in the wheelchair)  got 2 songs, one of which is big dance number.

But the biggest deal in Dream On is the introduction of an actual honestly to goodness more than one episode story arc. Follow after the jump for a SPOILER including discussion of what happened.

I was so shocked I had to slushie myself to snap out of it.

It's shocking, almost more shocking and entertaining that Sue Sylvester and Bryan Ryan's educational-value-off and follow-up anger sex... almost.



The Choir director of Vocal Adrenaline got Jesse St. James to infiltrate the Glee club in order to get to Rachel. I know, GASP!, no one saw that coming at all.

But why would she do this? not because she's just evil and conniving. Shelby Cocoran, The vocal coach of Vocal Adrenaline, the glee club of Carmel High School in Carmel, Ohio, is actually Rachel's MOTHER.

 Super Gasp!

I have to say, this episode made me care a bit more about Rachel, in no small part because Shelby cares about her so much. After watching so much damaged female behavior about pregnancy in the first half of the season seeing a mother who is legitimately trying to reach out to their child is touching and highly affecting.

Also, the emotional resonance really hits in the duet of "the saddest song ever" from Les Miserables, I Dreamed a Dream:



I can't wait to see what happens when they have two female characters with an actually meaty story to work with.

While the subject of motherhood deserves much more page-space than I'm going to give it in this post and I must admit that like the mothers in Glee the subject has been absent at The Mystery of Girls Media because taking on the media's portrayal of motherhood is a daunting task.

Let's cover it in Glee though, I can at least talk about that tonight. There are three mothers who have spoken at all on Glee.

Quinn –yes I'm counting Quinn even though the baby hasn't been born, who is giving up everything else that was important to her.

Mr. Schuster's sister-in-law– who was constantly egging on her sister into bigger lies and horrid behavior.

and Finn's Mom– who until Kurt set up with his dad had selflessly supported Finn single-handedly for over a decade, fighting depression and apparently, not asking anything for herself. I do not count Mrs. Schuster's hysterical pregnancy.

Other mom's have been mentioned, mostly in conjunction with nagging or not letting Quinn eat bacon (Puck's Mom). Kurt's mom, who is dead, has felt pretty tangible in his conversations with his father.  But ultimately, this is the first time a mother has gotten real screen-time, and she has been absent from her child's life for 16 years.

A lot of stories feature absent mothers, or don't feature them, or.... whatever, the point is the mother is just not there. why is that? Is there a perception or anticipation that all the world's problems are solved if the mother is present? That puts a lot of stress on moms when they're just people like everyone else, and motherhood is hard. While I don't disagree that the mom's on the show are generally doing the right thing by their kids I do fear that because they're in the background, they might get forgotten and become caricatures rather than characters as has befallen so many maternal characters before them.

And I don't want them too disappear, you've set up some pins, Glee, knock them down.

To hear me rant about things that aren't Glee, follow me on Twitter: Caitlin_Burns and check in next week when Ra Ra Ruh hah haaaa! LADY GAGA! You can bet money on the fact I'll be talking about adornment, I know, you can't wait.

Later Gleeks.

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Glee-Cap: Rachel, it's not you, it's me, except that it's also you.

Hey there fangirls!

I've been doing Glee-Caps over at my blog The Mystery of Girls' Media and could not be more excited to be syndicating them here at All Things Fangirl. You may remember me from EruditeChick's interview here (and also here). My whole thing is talking about fans and girls and girl fans and what media teaches girls and women and also, being a devoted fangirl and supporting the things that make me jump up and down and squee with geeky delight.

Here's what you missed on the Glee-caps:

----Cue the Music----

Glee-is-a-show-on-Fox-where-a-bunch-of-high-school-kids-join-glee-club. They-spontaneously-burst-into-song-and-dance-numbers. It's-really-entertaining-and-even-when-it-makes-me-angry...

I-HAVE-to-watch-it, I-mean-HAVE-TO-total-fangirl-compulsion. 

So, even-though-the-guys-are-kinda-Mary-Sues-and-the-girls-ride-a-little-close-to-high-school-show-stereotypes-I-like-them-and-feel-like-its-worth-watching. 

But-sometimes-they-do-make-me-angry-or-concerned-so-I-use-the- 

AWESOME POWER OF THE INTERNET 

-to-yell-at-the-show, and-you-know-this-hugely-successful-TV-show-is-listening

-so-now-that-there-are-TWO BLOGS-where-I'm-taking-it-to-task, 

you-know-the-show-is-going-to-be-super-awesome-and-not-make-me-think-I'm-on-crazy-pills-while-I'm-watching-it. 

And that's what you missed last time on the Glee-Cap!

On this week's episode, Laryngitis...

 Rachel Berry, it's not you, it's me, except that it's also you.

For the record I think Lea Michelle is great, and also, I get that weird theatre kid thrill up my spine when she is singing. But, I seriously can barely stand the character of Rachel when she's not singing.
And to be fair, that's part of the point of her character:

"What if he says I'll never sing again?
What will become of me? Without my voice I'm just another spoiled annoying only child..."
"I'm sure he won't say you'll never sing again."

She's entirely and completely about her goals, becoming a famous singer is her unquestioned destiny and to get there she is willing to uncover any obstacle. She is talented, completely single-minded, and even uses MySpace– obsession if I've ever seen it, but yeah, in the first episode it said she updated with video weekly, WHERE ARE THE VIDEOS, FOX???? lame, but I digress. She has many positive traits, including knowing without a shadow of a doubt that she is annoying and single-minded.

"I am like Tinkerbell, Finn, I need applause to live."

This episode only served to highlight these aspects of her character. And, like Tracey Flick in Election, Rachel proves that despite horrible personality flaws, sincere commitment to one's goals can pay off if you have an innate talent for that goal. Also, what she learned in this episode, "that you can be more than one thing" that there's more to Rachel than being a singer.

True, she's also bossy. She's really unpleasant to people around her, all the time. Seriously. She orders people around, puts them down, is really a jerk. Kudos that you know you're a jerk, Rachel, but you're still a jerk.  And being a jerk is just, no way to go through life.


A big part of why I don't like you, Rachel, is because I'm out of high school, I've been out in the world a while, and I'm certain you would appeal to me if I were younger. You're aspirational and cool, and can belt a bit and clearly have a heart...


but yeah, you're also a jerk. Remember last week, when you used three guys to try and seem cool, two of which actually like you and now no one seems to remember that and the two guys still seem to be really into you? You lie, you are so self-absorbed you are usually the last person to realize a piece of juicy gossip, but how many times have you run into the glee club room to share that gossip as soon as you find it out? at least 5.


Generally, I think a character who lies, gossips, etc... is interesting, but is only really interesting when there are consequences for their actions. So far, Rachel's karmic calendar has a huge event coming up, like, Eyjafjallajökull level. Losing your voice and having the cute guy you like take you to the doctor and sing a song about you while your boyfriend is in San Diego does not cut it, Glee. 

Also this week:

Quinn rocked it, talking to Mercedes about Puck, let's talk about that because that was great. She was totally honest and if someone was keeping me from bacon, I too would not be able to handle conversations about "How Super-Mario Changed Civilization."

Also, I want to call you out, Glee, for framing Mercedes' story almost completely around a guy. At least you kinda gave Rachel some agency this week, but yeah, work on that. 


Honorable mention also has to go to Puck for being amazingly, hilariously desperate for attention throughout the episode. To the point of seriously borderline humor, a charming Sammy Davis Jr. homage, and to Mercedes for shutting him down because she's obviously above all that.

"I'm like a sex shark, if I stop moving, I die"

And so, because I ramble, I'm stopping here. Step it up with the consequences, Glee, you've set up the pins, now knock them down.

Catch up with the older Glee-Caps Here: F U For Making Me Tear Up, The Madonna Episode, Am I Taking Crazy Pills?

Tune in next week for NPH. OMG OMG OMG. Excellent.

And follow me on twitter, Caitlin_Burns 

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