90210 Semi Live Blogging - "Senior Year, Baby!"

Previously on 90210

Crap crap blah blah pregnant sleepy teacher, Annie & Liam totally lurv each other, Jasper looking sad (good, that's important, thanks recap...), rape! Naomi's starring in the live action version of the girl who cried wolf. Finally! That's never been done before.
...

That "previously" section made me upset. This show sucks. But - we must carry on! So carry on we will. 90210 Season 3 recaps begin in 5...4...3...2...


Damn. Dixon's still on this show. And has stupid hair. ---------------->

Annie has new hair too, but it's pretty. She wins this round. Though if Dixon is always her competition, she will win all the rounds.

Makes no sense that their parents split up, sorry, not buying it.

What is Dixon wearing? And why? WHY.

Teddy and Silver are still together cause he doesn't know he's gay yet. Aw. Poor Silver.

It seems so obvious now

They're all friends again! Lookit! Good times! Happiness! Friends!

But Naomi is still freaking out. And turning 18 in one week. Something tells me this will be important.

Dixon and Ivy are still dating, auughhhhhhhhhh whyyyyyyy his hair is so stupid, it's like a joke, an actual joke

YES! Ivy met a Brit. Do that instead.

Is this guy really British? But he's so unappealing! How do they manage to even screw up the Brits! Brits are supposed to ALWAYS be hot!

Looked it up. The actor is American. Explains everything.

The rest after the jump


Javier and Adrianna have totally been doing it.

Oh, ok, apparently she hasn't even made out with him once in three months? Yeah. Oookay, that's totally believable. Yup.

Liam! Hating Annie?

Naomi lied to everyone about her summer cause she's sad.

RAPIST ALERT ---------------------------->

The room is shaking. Is this a dream? Is someone dreaming? Oh. No. It's real, it's an earthquake.

Wait, Teddy becomes gay because a bookshelf falls on him?

90210 Guide To Realizing You're Gay. Step 1: Get caught under a bookcase during an Earthquake

Naomi screams and freaks out and Rapey Teacher is Rapey.

Rapey Teacher got real evil real quick

There was always something off about Rapey Teacher, wasn't there?

Hot Sleepy Teacher woke up!!! But he's still a little sleepy. He's always at least a little sleepy.

British New Dude is trying REALLY hard to be suave and it hurts my whole body

Liam hates Annie cause, wait, why, she didn't get in touch with him all summer? I'm confused. So they haven't dated yet?

Annie didn't know that Jasper lit Liam's boat on fire? Wha?


<------- We observe that Silver's haircut gets worse and worse every year. Blech.

So Teddy has a hot male nurse when he is recuperating in the hospital? Is that what happens?

"Schoolscanceledpartyatmyhouse!" You did good, U-5er #actorterminology

British New Dude is actually the one who ended school, okay, yeah, seemed fishy, I just forgot he was a character and thus couldn't figure out who would have the balls to do that.

Hot Sleepy is Annie's senior advisor! Neat! MOAR SLEEPY HOT NESS!

He already wrote her a recommendation letter! Bone?!

I forgot there was just an earthquake. So did everyone else.

Liam does Annie a favor cause he DOES wanna bone her

I knew girls who wore ponchos in high school. I may have even dabbled myself.

Hippie or Wizard? You be the judge. 

Javier is a DICK, you guys

And then Javier…dies?

Jetskiiing!! You know, like normal kids do when they ditch school cause of a massive Earthquake! Sure!

We all talk about what a bad character Dixon is. As morally ambiguous as they come. Or maybe just straight out evil. Just awful.

See, dumb Dixon, British New Dude has a girlfriend, chill out.

Silver's about to walk into a shitstorm what with the Teddy being gay.

Oh shit! Navid can't reach Adrianna cause she got in an accident, that's what happened, ahhhhhh, worst fear

Male nurse male nurse! It's happening! Look, Teddy's hurt! Male nurse!

90210 Guide To Realizing You're Gay. Step Two: That.

Rape counseling time. Totally missed everything that happened in this scene.

"I can't believe Javier's dead." I can't believe this show is so god awful.

This would be an international tragedy. It better be everywhere for the rest of the episode.

His book of hit songs! Do it! That's why they turned him into a dick at the last second out of nowhere, so we will hate him and think Aid should steal his songs. Got it.

The Kardashians are stylers? Are they? Is that what they are?

Naomi is funny looking

Annie is cute! Uses the old "perfectionist" line when responding to the question "What is your weakness?" in an internship interview. Also, she killed a dude. I don't know if that's considered a weakness or anything.

"Guess you have to expect a few aftershocks after an earthquake" is what the interviewer says. Then Annie thinks about how this applies to her life OUT LOUD. Out loud. OUT. LOUD.

"I accidentally killed a man." She said that out loud too. Then acts all crazy and leaves.

Lemme guess - Annie gets the internship for being honest and open!

Interviewer's thoughts: "You're crazy! I like crazy." Cause that's the only way Annie's getting this job.

Liking Rufus Wainwright means you're sentimental, apparently. According to the Brit.

BritNuDood reminds Ivy of the time he gave her her first orgasm. He actually uses the words "First orgasm."

Wait. Did he just say that? Did he actually just say that?!

Finally kissing someone with an iota of sex appeal! Though still not very much...#MaleSexAppealFail

It was a dream! A dream! Nice one. Damn.

Let's all agree that Ivy put a lot more into that scene that she ever has with Dixon.

Laim's so cute. But what's that music playing? Ah! Why!

Liam and Annie kiss! Awww. But to really bizarre music. Kind of killing the moment. WTF is this.

Trailer for Life As We Know It. Josh Duhamel and Katherine Heigl are the same kind of actor - both attractive and unattractive, at the same time, both might be movie stars, but also might not be, it's confusing.

Naomi is teaching us about rape or something. I don't know, I'm bored.

Annie didn't call Liam cause she knew she would totally make out with him. Yeah. I would make out with him too. Which is why I would call him. But, to each her own.

Liam doesn't wanna be friends, Annie, he wants to boooonnnneeee, duuuuhhh

Liam and Annie, to this day the only couple who has ever had chemistry on this show.

Why isn't anyone else talking about this?! An young international superstar just died in a freak accident! Like the Biebs! It would be EVERYWHERE.

I like Laurel. Adrianna should totally use Javier's songs, whatever javierjavierjavier

Teddy's gonna meet a male nurse! Yes! It's happeninggg.

…"now I can be gay!"

He's driving drunk with a torn ACL?! That takes a lot of determination. Wow.

Teddy ignored his doctor. Dumbass.

"Find something else you love." Yes. Men. That was a little obvious.

We all know that when you have too much spare time, you realize you're gay. It's scientific.

90210 Guide To Realizing You're Gay. Step Three: Drunk drive with a torn ACL to a random chick's party. Proceed to get moar drunk.

No, Ivy! You clearly are WAY more attracted to the other dude. Stop it. Stop it with Dixon already.

My mother is baffled by Ivy's wardrobe choices. Aren't we all.

Still not buying it. Will never buy it.

Where did Ivy put her cell phone? Where did Dixon put his hands?! No, they don't love each other. Dumb.

Dude No Longer Attracted to Naomi calls her "Katie Holmes after Tom Cruise", bwhaha. I don't mind that.

Naomi decides to have a three way cause that's her "old self!" Ol' Threeway Naomi! … Ooookay

We observe how Katie Holmes did lose her sex appeal. And Nicole Kidman never got it back. Don't marry Tom Cruise, you guys.

HOLY EXPOSITION! So Harry & Debbie are Separated. He lives 45 minutes away. Left a month ago. Check check check. God I need to find a clip of this to post. (See end of post)

"Aren't I supposed to be the one taking care of you guys?" Full House moment. It's nice to reference your old tv shows. Oh, not what they were going for?

"At least drink some milk" What?! Why?!?! Why would you ever tell your kid to make sure to drink milk after eating ice cream?! Is that a joke?! Are you trying to murder Dixon?! Well, actually, I'd be okay with that.

Annie is actually really charming for a solid 20 seconds.

"...and she just might be desperate enough to do it." Oooh good. Someone is tricking Annie. That's what she needs. Also glad to see the show still prides itself on its stellar dialogue and plot devices.

Limpy Teddy saves Naomi from herself. Yup. From herself. Said it.

The BritNuDood hits on Ivy like woahwoahwoah. Him > Dixon.

He's DOING Jack Sparrow. Not sexually.

The Britis sleeping with Ivy's mom?! What?! Why?! Is that who he has an open relationship with? Ah! Gross!

Naomi is too tiny. Tiny tiny tiny.

"Random physical act like tennis." LOW, Naomi. How will Teddy ever recover.

Why doesn't he want you, Naomi? Cause he's gaaaaaaaaaaaaay

90210 Guide To Realizing You're Gay. Step Five: You Save The Hot Drunk Girl With Baggage Instead of Sleeping With Her...(says 90210. Not me.)

Yeah, this situation doesn't look good, Teddy..

Oh! I've liked this song this whole time and it's Adrianna! Neat.

"The best thing she's ever written." Burn. It's Javeirjavierjavier's, obviously. How long until THIS secret comes out. Siiigh.

Rapey's after Silver now. Watch out Silver.

Naomi's a mess. A hot mess, if you will. (Snap.)

Next Week: Adrian Grenier hits on a high schooler? Well, we know Naomi turns 18 this week, so maybe it'll be legal.

Hey Annie, how did you feel about the season premiere of 90210?

Me too, Annie. Me too.

Start around the 2:00 minute mark to experience Expositionpalooza 2010

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90210 Semi Live Blogging - Meet The Parent

Dixon is a sociopath, we know it, you know it, just Dixon doesnt know it. But he may be one of the most blatantly evil characters on television, no joke.

I'm so sick of Liam and Naomi UGH

Naomi: I'm gonna sit against this wall with my leg stratigically places so i look rully rully hot, lookit how hot i am, omg, BLECH

"I'll mist you." "You'll mist me?" howsaboutipunchyoubothinyourprettyprettymoneymakers

Silver is painting cause she's artsy, GET IT DO YOU GET IT

Silver has a tattoo, she's artsy

Silver's a brunette, she's artsy

I feel sick

Teddy continues to remind me of a cartoon chipmunk. Eruditechick points out that he is an exact replica of Freddie from Scooby Doo.
<---------------------------------------------------------------------------Truth.

LUKE!

Eruditechick - He's wearing guyliner and has bad hair,. I don't care who he is

I'm ur dadz so I toss the phone to yous and you catch it, M'BOY

Grizz. Correct. Of course that's his name.

I believe I've heard the phrase "Take five" in other areas, Adrianna, not just in a recording studio. But...okay...sure

This is what I just heard: Javier javier javier javier. Then the scene ended. I'm confused. Who is Javier and what just happened?

Adrianna is writing a song for her and javierjavierjavier to sing. Yeah, no, totally have the 16 year old write it, good idea.

The rest after the jump!



How do you buy a house without consulting the owner? I'm confused. How do you sell a house that isn't for sale? Uhhhh, huzzahwhat? Eruditechick chimes in - how does someone not graduate high school by the time she is 30? Good question, Eruditechick. Good question indeed.

Intense sad music "WHERE IS DADZ, OH NOES!" - Liam

HOW DID JEN BUY IT, NAOMI?! This makes no SENSE.

Naomi claims she is going to eat ice cream. She left out the part about throwing up afterwards.

Silver is really into this one long earring thing and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Silver has one long earring, cause she's artsy

Dixon is wearing ALL BLUE. Impressive. Eruditechick asks if he is trying to be the Blue Ranger. Cause there is no other plausible excuse.

Eyu, Ivy, don't like Dixon, eyu eyu eyu eyu

I hate it when Dixon flirts with people gross gross gross

Where did Naomi's other earring go? I swear she was wearing two a second ago. Ah HAH! There it is.

I don't believe a word Jen says. Mostly because this actress is terrible.

Navid's girlfriend is back. Still not buying this. Sorry.

Annie's first appearance in the episode! Welcome, Annie! She wants to do it with Liam. But don't we all?

They totally stole this idea from LUKE building a boat on GILMORE GIRLS. LUKE!

Annie yammers about something, we don't know what, but somehow it's forcing Liam to confide in her. Ooookay.

Did Luke really leave? He was on the show for like 30 seconds in the most predictable storyline on the face of the planet. Waste.

Cougar Producer & Hot Sleepy Teacher!

Dumb Bitch Jen sees Hot Sleepy Teacher and the show pretends like they cared about each other at some point or some bullshit. Even though she used him and is a ho. STOP REWRITING HISTORY.

Eruditechick approves of Poor Man's Luke Wilson aka Hot Sleepy Teacher cause he ordered a whiskey ginger.

Let's see, will Adrianna and Navid get back together this season?! Probz. Cause everything is predictable on this show.

"And how do I do that? By banging you?" is DEFINITELY what I heard, Navid.

Silver doesn't eat meat, she's artsy

Silver is being uneccesarily awkward. Her character is never awkward. Except for RIGHT NOW. Okay, sure.

Exes are gonna bond over games and touching hands aweeommmADORBBBZZZ

Uuuum, did Hot Sleepy Teacher get totally wasted again? Is this over JEN?! REALLY?!

Poor Hot Sleepy Teacher.

Silver speaks her mind, she's artsy

...How is going to a carnival helping her write a song exactly? This is dumb.

Aw. I like Navid. THEY IS GONNA MAKES OUT

Where is Rumer Willis?! Where is lesbian chin?! DISAPPROVE.

Naomi enters, bringing the BITCH. I'm okay with that. I hate Jen.

Thanks for pointing out that Jen slept with a 16 year old. Cause. Gross.

"C'EST FINIS!"

Damn, Olivier believed Naomi rather quickly. Yikes.

EYU. Dixon lights candles for Ivy and gets her Kogi BBQ. EYU EYU dont make out PLZ

Late night marriage counseling? Is that a thing?

Annie claims to not be an idiot. We aren't so sure about that.

Eruditechick doesnt understand how Dixon is black. We explain he is adopted. She responds "The only black character on this show is ADOPTED?" Yes. Yes he is. Oh 90210.

Blabber blabber blabber. Shenae Grimes really does look like she could be their kid though. But I have no idea what just happened during that scene. Bored.

RETURN OF THE SAD, INTENSE MUSIC

"Can we talk about this later? There is a chick in my room waiting to be banged." SOCIOPATH.

We are pretty sure they blew out ALL the candles, but now they are back on, soooo...hmmm

Sometimes you have to step back and realize this scene features a 16 year old in a house that she owns and lives in alone, drinking a whole bottle of champagne.

Lila is making animals out of straws! She's quirky!

Is Navid about to break up with her?! Oh he SO is. Yikes. Break the heart of the only not-tiny girl on the show, real nice, Navid. This is uncomfortable.

Yeah, paint that boat, Liam, do it.

Raggedy Ann appears at Liam's. DO IT DO IT DO IT!
(Raggedy Ann ------------------------------------------>)

She needs to "blow off some steam" by painting the boat. DO IT INSTEAD it works better

What's ironic, Dixon? Let's see. Oh, something that's not ironic at all? Cool.

Ivy's face: "Yeah, that's not ironic, thats whimsical" - Eruditechick

DON'T TOUCH HER HAIR. STOP IT

This makes me so uncomfortable, Dixon has no sex appeal and I hate it

Silver rides a vespa, she's artsy

SO MUCH PLAID IN THIS EPISODE WHAT IS HAPPENING. Between Raggedy Ann, Famous Dad and Freddie

Dad doesn't approve of girlfriend?!?! Whaaa?! Who saw that coming?!?! Oh, all of us.

I thought matinees were before noon? Is that not true? When she says matinee before your game tonight?

Why is Naomi asleep on the couch wearing an eye mask, not in her bed? Too drunk? But awake enough to put on an eye mask?

Jen tricked Naomi?! Again, could this show BE any more predictable?

But I don't want Jen to be around, I HATE JEN. Ah, Jen too neglected to mention that she plans on throwing up that croissant immediately upon eating it.

Teddy demonstrates his regret by touching his chin softly

No, give up your career aspirations for your new high school girlfriend, good idea.

Oh! Javier is kinda cute! All right! Javier javier javier.

Adrianna wrote this song? Really?

This scene is awkward

Producers always dance to the song as it's being recorded, duh, don't you know?

"You killed it, sweetie" What about Javier javier javier javier?

It makes sense that she would say "No special guy, no one," just as Navid walks in, sure. FLOWERS IN THE TRASH OH NOES, Eruditechick comments on Navid's weeping heart.

THAT was the end of the episode? Why do I still bother?

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90210 Semi Live Blogging - Javianna. Featuring Old School.

Why in god's name are these boys going to see a movie at the Chinese 6? Of all the theaters in LA...really?

Navid is being all pissy cause he hates javierjavierjavier and Adrianna may or may not be dating him. So...Rumer Willis is just...out of the picture then?

Naomi's card is declined. Inexplicably, Jen is in charge of her finances, despite being totally irresponsible herself. And no, this doesn't make sense. Don't try to explain to me how it does. Cause you would be wrong.

Jay Boyd? MYSTERY!

EYU NO Ivy & Dixon are sitting on each other and being gross on the beach. Whywhywhy. She invites him to come with her Australia, even though in Australia she would no doubt meet someone much hotter and much less sociopathic.

Pause to watch Luke Wilson be hot in Old School. Damn. What happened?!                       ------------------->

Liam and Annie enjoying each other's company. I actually enjoy them together. Since they actually have some sort of connection established, unlike Naomi & Liam. Who never had chemistry or anything in common Ever. Blech.

JASPER. On crutches. So clearly he's dangerous with all of his not being able to walk, you're right Liam, so so dangerous.

Jasper the psycho is actually being kind of sweet in his psycho-ness. He asks Annie to be his friend and she turns him down. Oh I don't see this ending well.

Silver & Teddy are making out all over the place. He still looks like a chipmunk. They have not in fact done the "mattress mambo" yet. Thanks for that.

Navid brings a bouquet of flowers flowers for Adrianna. Javierjavierjavier brings her an even BIGGER bouquet of flowers. Snap.

I do like Navid though. I hope he gets the girl.

Teddy's dad checks Teddy's phone - It's Silver saying she misses him. Cue boring father-son relationship talk bullshit and Teddy claiming he loves her. These high school kids really throw that word around willy nilly, don't they?

Harry won't let Dixon go to Australia because he "doesn't think he deserves it." AGREED. Dixon was a complete and utter sociopath these season and most CERTAINLY does not deserve a trip to Australia. Debbie disagrees for some stupid reason.

Javierjavierjavier actually kind of looks like Navid in his face a little bit. Adrianna clearly has a type. Except when she's a lesbian.

Is this guy a famous singer in real life or something? Why is he performing a whole song?

Is Teddy gonna try to break up with Silver again? This is so boring.

Meanwhile, Phil from Lost/Jimmy Barrett from Mad Men is in this Old School scene! One day I will learn his name and never forget it. (Patrick Fischler. Got it!)

Uh oh. Some sexin is about to happen. And then Teddy's gonna dump her. And then something bad is gonna happen.

Since when does unbottoning your shirt automatically mean you're about to do it with your high school boyfriend? I mean...she unbuttoned A button and Teddy was like "are you sure?" or some shit. Annoying.

UM is that Silver's boob?

 Yeah. That's boob.

Naomi is suddenly driving a clunker for no reason. Don't care what her dumb explanation is.

Ohmygod, it's Simon Helberg! He's in Old School! Wtf! That's awesome! My god Luke Wilson was hot.

So Liam and Naomi broke up but are still friends? Hot head Naomi? This seems...out of character? Oh wait. Did they not break up? Are they breaking up now? They should. Naomi sucks.

Since when is the mash in bangers and mash....hash browns? That's just incorrect.

Adrianna didn't know that Lila & Navid broke up. And she still likes him. And it's like the lesbianism never happened. Oookay, 90210.

Why is this dumbass who took that naked photo of Annie still on this show? I hate this guy.

Annie stands up for Jasper and it's kind of sweet. I kind of like Annie now. Whereas last season I wanted to strangle her. Constantly.

Liam sees Jasper and Annie having a moment and doesn't like it one bit. Hot. Jealously FTW!

Does Silver live alone? Where's Kelly?

In a highly inappropriate move, Teddy's dad finds out Silver's address and shows up at her house, that she lives in alone, late at night, to bribe her. Got it.

Naomi visits Liam at his boat. She is going to apologize. I hope it doesn't matter and they break up anyway. I mean, come ON, what could he possibly see in her, let's be honest.

Liam...is...good looking.

Naomi is not

Bwhaha they call Javierjavierjavier and Adrianna Javianna. That's fairly amusing.

Navid is Jewish? That's the first I've heard of that. I'm Jewish! 

Dixon, like the sociopath he is, advises Navid to interfere in Adrianna's life, advising him to "up his game" or some shit. As opposed to just telling her how he feels. Siiigh.

Old School break! Luke Wilson scene! Gotta watch!

Teddy isn't doing well in his tennis match. Obviously Silver is to blame.

Dixon is selling his iPod? That's an old looking iPod. 200 bucks? WAY too much. He is such an idiot. Such a psycho idiot. Ivy, leave NOW! Get out while you CAN!

Teddy and Silver. Boooorrreedddddd. As if Silver ACTUALLY affected his game at all whatsoever. This is so dumb.Woah, Silver is dumping him? Did she take the money?

Adrianna looks amazing in her dress cause she is the prettiest girl on the show, yaaaaay!

ADRIANNA, NAOMI, SILVER, WHY IS NO ONE MENTIONING GIA?! Short term memories, these kids have.

Navid got her a gawdy bracelet to prove his love. And makes the second Affair to Remember reference on the CW this week.

Adrianna doesn't know how to perform, she just kind of bops around and it's awkward.

YES, is Ivy as weirded out by Dixon as I am?!

Dixon is being crazy again. Good job, Dixon. Please leave this show. I hate you.

Liam and Annie are working together! Yay! He liiiiiiikes her. He's protective of herrrrrr.

Oh shit, Liam opened the letter! Maybe you should delete that from your computer, Annie? Just maybe? A little bit? No? Okay.

DIXON, LEAVE THE SHOW

Oh no, Silver and Dixon cannot get back together. I hate this show.

Underage drinking. Always a good idea.

That's...a lot of vodka. Oh no.

Ivy didn't freak out! Dixon did! This is nonsence! She didn't pick a fight! He did!

Oh no, Dixon and Silver are drunk together and they are gonna make out and this is so dumb and gross. I hate Dixon's sexin face. And Teddy didn't even break up with Silver, she broke up with him! THIS IS SO STUPID.

Yes you're drunk, yes this is a mistake, please exit the situation.

Ivy, don't apologize, you did nothing wrong and you don't wanna bring Dixon with you to Austalia.

Adrianna needs a mic stand! I figured it out!

Ohh, she is gonna go with javierjavierjavier to New York and never see Navid's gift and the season is gonna end and this sucks.

Debbie finds out that Dixon broke into school. As if lying to an older woman to date her and skipping school and generally sucking at life isn't reason enough to not go to Australia.


Naomi picks finding out what her sister is up to over talking to Liam. Liam calls Annie. SOMETHING HAPPEN ON THIS SHOW ALREADY.

Jen is pregnant? Is the dad Ryan? Or the foreign dude? Do I care? Nope. Wait, was this the finale? It can't be, right? Because there was no resolution to any storyline whatsoever?

Okay, not the finale. Not sure to be glad or pissed about the fact that I have one more episode to watch. Old School > 90210.

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