American Idol Top 12 --- I'm A Little Confused Too

The judges are being bizarrely awkward while trying to raise money for the Red Cross. Or at least Steven was. Not a time for Blue Steel, Tyler.

Seacrest reminds us that Ashthon was a contestant. We lament her getting the wild card while people like Tim didn't even get a chance. Oh well. America, here's your top 12!

I didn't know Pocahontas was competing this year...

Naima - What's Love Got To Do With It by Tina Turner
Her family earns her 10 points. Loving them. Not loving the song right away, but I'll give it a chance. As long as she dances. Dancing! I see dancing! Where's the reggae rap? Not great or even very good, but she's interesting enough for me to want her to stick around.
Steven - You got a sorcerer's grasp for melody.
J-Lo - You bring yours to everything you do. Gave her a pass for the pithiness last week, but now sees she is consistently pitchy and it's hurting her. Makes J-Lo worry about how her performances will hold up, needs her to concentrate and work on that. Flavor is crazy so she needs to bring it together.
Randy - Watching her performance last week thought it wasn't great at all. Vocals are kind of a mess. All over the place.

Paul - I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John
Love his family even more. Oh my god. I love him. NO! HOARSE VOICE! Ohmygod I love him so much. He is making J-Lo sing along! Love it! He sounds great and is absolutely adorbz. I can't stop clapping. I love him.
J-Lo - She feels him. Sounded good, he has so much soul and star quality, he overcame not thinking he was doing his best. He made it happen though.
Randy - Was pitchy sometimes but he really makes it his own and reminds him of Ray LaMontage. Tells him to get the notes right.
Steven - He goes off a little bit. He defines a cool dude in a loose mood. Way cool swagger. He's turning into that guy who you turn on the record and you know who you're listening to.

Paul is the BEST

Thia - Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas
Thia was maybe the cutest toddler. So far at least. Since she was 6 in effing 2001, she could record a studio level track then. Hilarious. OF COURSE she is singing this song. Knew she was dressed as Pocahontas. She can't quite hit the higher notes. Still digging her tone. But...that's it.
Randy - The vocals were okay, but the problem he is having she's been singing ballads every week, felt very boring, like she is at a pageant. Randy tells her to dig a little deeper and I think she should sing that song from The Princess and the Frog
Steven - He thinks she sings beautifully, but asks if she thinks that's who she is. She says she knows ballads aren't her.
J-Lo - Loves her tone and quality, but they need to see her break out and can't tell if the vibratto is nerves or natural. Needs to get out of the box.

More after the jump

James - I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi
MATT BELLAMY. IN THE AUDIENCE. UM. THE MUSIC PERSON. WTF. JAMES DOESNT KNOW WHO MUSE IS? DOES NO ONE? OFFENDED. Singing babies are the best. James - "I aint touching nobody." Bwhaha that was awesome. Not loving this yet. Sounds off, but he's in it and rocking and such. Ooh! Okay, like a lot of parts, though he was definitely off at points.
Steven - He's got leftover sandwiches older than him - how does he do that? Asks him not to get too poppy for him, but that was great. If he sings Aerosmith in the finale, Steven will sing with him.
J-Lo - Sang along, loves it, he was great
Randy - Couple pitch spots, but made it his own, similarly to Paul. Very tastefully done.

They talk about shoes and dog collars. I don't know what's going on.

Steven - "That man there has a rich vein of inner crazy. I'll join him"

Haley - I'm Your Baby Tonight by Whitney Houston
Aw, funny looking baby. Her parents are in a band! Hah! That rules. I'm groaning that she is singing Whitney, but I hope she does a great job. I LOVE her voice. Fingers crossed. Someone needs to help this girl pick songs ASAP. Her voice is still awesome and perfect but otherwise, she has like no sense. It's bizarre. The way she is dressed, the arrangement...oh no, there is lipstick on her chin. There is so much about this that screams hot mess except for the fact that she still sounds amazing with her voicebox. Oh no, lipstick emergency! AHH THIS IS THE MOST AWKWARD THING EVER. STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.
J-Lo - Makes a point of saying she looks great. She can't see. But she says do what comes naturally
THANK YOU SEACREST. HE is a real pro. Officially love him.
Randy - Confused by song choice. Not sure she is sure who she is, she needs to find out what that is to find the right songs. Vocals were okay but wasn't a great performance. Confused.
Steven - Sweet and tough and heard Janis Joplin and always waits to hear it again. More blues. Dig in to that.

I AGREE WITH STEVEN. Please keep her around so we can hear her sing the right song. PLEASE.

Stefano - If You Don't Know Me By Now covered by Simply Red
Another musical family! Sweet dad. Awe. Makes some legit hilarious jokes about the quality of music in 1989. I like him a lot. Amazing control. Don't even wanna talk during his performance at all because I don't wanna miss a note. He hits everything! This is a cover. Loophole discovered! Okay so if J-Lo likes what you are doing, she will sing along. Thanks for the tell. This guy is fantastic. Knows what he's doing.
Randy - Best performance of the night so far. Took a song that had the highest degree of difficulty and slayed it.
Steven - Beautiful phrasing, wonderful, beautiful
J-Lo - 10 10 10. Perfect song for him, he could take it, stay right there, and sing to her a little bit more, connect to her. Aw he had to hug his mom, that's adorable.

Pia - Where Do Broken Hearts Go by Whitney Houston
Pia is YOUNGER than me? That's weird. She looks older...she needs to tone down the makeup. Home videos rule. Sad grandpa story makes me sad. The first thing I observe is that she looks like Julia Louis Dreyfuss. She still has pretty solid control, I don't like up tempo on her as much. Would also like to hear her sing some more interesting songs. Though her voice is always awesome. No other girls can sing like her.
Steven - She is why it's called American Idol. Nailed it.
J-Lo - Excited that it was up tempo. Perfect for her. Has an angel watching over her.
Randy - Every week she produces amazing vocals, Pia is in it to win it, what does that say to everyone else in the competition. Pia is trying to win this.


We've decided Pia and Haley need to look at Linda Rondstat, Bonnie Raitt, Heart, not this 90s crap

Scottie - Can I Trust You With My Heart by Travis Tritt
IS SO COUNTRY. HE WAS OBSESSED WITH ELVIS. He is so perfectly country, we can't help but giggle. If you listened to this without looking at the screen, you would think he was in his 30s or 40s. This is hilarious. He could be on the radio. The country country radio. A duet with Carrie Underwood is inevitable. A bit hammy. But country is fairly hammy.
J-Lo - She wants him to keep going in the direction of pushing himself like he did at the end. More of that. Keep growing.
Randy - Did Travis proud. Great song. He can sing anything, he knows who he is. Keep taking chances with notes.
Steven - Keep knowing who you are and you will go places. Thanks him.

We realize that Scottie looks like Alfred E. Neuman. Woah.

Karen - Love Will Lead You Back by Taylor Dane
She's going home unless she brings it. We observe that she is dressed like a fembot. Someone observes that Karen was a Benjamin Button baby. Looool. OHMYGOD she is really dressed like a fembot. I can't unsee it. I can't even listen. This would only make sense if she was singing Burt Bacharach. This is forgettable and boring and dumb and you're DRESSED AS A FEMBOT. She is the first one so far that I wasn't looking forward to. Like, they said Karen and I was like, muh. And yes, it was in fact, muh.
Randy - Started rough, found the pitch halfway through. Better than last week, but not jumping up and down.
Steven - Loves it when she breaks into her "ethnic what it is-ness"
J-Lo - Could tell she was scared, but instead of letting it take over, she attacked it. Never expose your weaknesses, play to your strengths, if she can't hit it, don't try.

J-Lo gives legit great advice. It's Carly Smithson! Why are you igonoring her?

Casey - Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
His family didn't have him until their 40s but he thinks that's awesome cause they're wiser than other parents. "They know what's up" - Casey. Casey has the best parents. Casey likes taking risks musically. I love him. Love the bass. He sounds a little evil, bwhaha, but I love him. He definitely chose a direction and went with it. Hilarious.
Steven - He is so good and crazy and talented and that's the perfect match. To be crazy and talented at the same time. He's got it.
J-Lo - Big shoes to fill, was a risk and parts where it got screamy screechy, still has to sound pleasant, just wanted a little bit more of that and loves him so much
Randy - References Muse without acknowledging that MATT BELLAMY IS IN THE AUDIENCE. Wasn't the best vocal, but it was fearless.

Someone please tell Randy that Matt Bellamy is in the audience. Please.

Lauren - I'm The Only One by Melissa Etheridge
Awkward intro. She's hilarious. She calls Jimmy "Sir." Awe. I do really like her voice. I want her to stick around. And sing better songs. This is at least a step in the right direction.
J-Lo - That is an example of staying true to the melody of the song but also making it hers. Very very good job. She's back.
Randy - Very nice. Have a cold every week. Liked it.
Steven - Agree with Randy. Loved her the first time he heard her, she did it again, she's a shining star.

Jacob - Alone by Heart
Jacob reacting to his mom singing is priceless. AHH! Alone. The big number. Oh man, he has got to kill it. PLEASE kill it. It's weird how he looks so young when he speaks, but way older when he sings. Many off notes. He's certainly putting his all into it. I really feel like he is connecting to this song to an INSANE degree. But. Not much control.
Randy - Very nice performance. Stepped out of his comfort zone. Stepped out of tune for a couple bars, but the whole package was so great. In it to win it.
Steven - His mom may not be able to sing but he gave him the moxy to, I don't know Steven
J-Lo - Gives his all to every performance, amazing to watch, everyone feels it. We have a competition.

My Top Two: Stefano, Paul, Pia's vocals
My Bottom Three: Karen, Thia, Naima
Going Home: Karen. Make it stop already.

That was a weird night.

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Pipeline Triumphs With Their New Production of Brecht's The Caucasian Chalk Circle

Taking on The Caucasian Chalk Circle would be a challenge for any theater company, even a veteran one. So it is an awe-inspiring surprise to see the fairly young Pipeline Theatre Company tackle one of Brecht’s “epic theatre” pieces. With a refreshing boldness, under the direction of Anya Saffir, Pipeline masterfully rises to the challenge in their production of Brecht’s The Caucasian Chalk Circle.

The Caucasian Chalk Circle is a play within a play that connects two stories both dealing with the right of possession. The play opens with a frame story set in Post-World War II Russia where two agricultural communes are debating over land ownership. While accusations of thievery are thrown around, the communes come to the agreement that the land should go to the commune who will tend to and use it best. To commemorate the reached settlement, the commune that retains the land performs a musical (led by a famous, hired singer and his band) for the conceding commune. What unfolds then is a folkish musical lead by the omniscient narrator-like character, The Singer. The tale of the new play, set against the backdrop of civil war, revolves around Grusha, a maid trying to keep an aristocratic child she saved and raised after it was abandoned by his biological mother. When the mother comes back for her child, a ridiculous but poignant custody battle ensues in the courtroom of the crafty judge Azdak. At the end of the trial and the musical, the message that resonates is the same as the one in the original frame story: “what there is should go to those who are good for it.”



Intertwining drama and music, all on a bare but constantly alive and changing set, The Caucasian Chalk Circle triumphs in style and technique. Every actor plays numerous roles, rotating between the two plays as well as serving as musicians and singers. The entire cast and crew are fantastic as they work seamlessly to bring together this layered, complicated, ensemble-driven play. Cormac Bluestone’s original music manages to be both lush and delicate as it adds to the folklore nature of the play. The songs also help to break the fourth wall. They speak to the audience by renouncing and celebrating the emotional ups and downs of the plot and actions of the characters. But they also carry the plot and action by fluidly connecting scene to scene and the play within a play.

Beyond its aesthetic and entertaining qualities, The Caucasian Chalk Circle also provokes the audience to truly think about Brecht’s themes. The desire for justice and attempts at charity and goodness during the power struggles of war are all manifested through the actions of two of the main characters Grusha and Azdak. Both characters, driven by a strong sense of justice, help others despite knowing the threat of trouble their selflessness and helpfulness attracts. Maura Hooper shines as Grusha. She brings an amazing duality of sensitivity and strength to the character. Thanks to her performance, we admire Grusha; we sympathize with her but never pity her. Gil Zabarsky bolts onto the stage as Azdak, providing us with the play’s main bulk of humor. He brilliantly embodies the character’s cunning and verbose wit. He leads us through the second half of the show with his pitch-perfect comedic timing and commanding presence.

Like Grusha walking off with the baby into the mountains, I walked out of The Caucasian Chalk Circle feeling like I had stolen something from Pipeline...something very special that demands my admiration and respect. It is a show that not only possesses the power to alter the minds of the audience but has successfully transformed Pipeline itself into a theater company to be reckoned with. While discussing epic theatre, Brecht once wrote: “instead of sharing an experience the spectator must come to grips with things. At the same time it would be quiet wrong to try and deny emotion to this kind of theatre.” This seems to be the best way to describe my viewing experience of The Caucasian Chalk Circle. Watching it is an ideal but rare theater-going experience--you will be entertained, emotionally engaged, and you’ll find yourself challenged intellectually and philosophically. The performance will stay with you, urging you to revisit and contemplate its beauty and meaning. Do not miss out on this experience. Go watch The Caucasian Chalk Circle immediately. To not see it, would be a true injustice.


The Caucasian Chalk Circle
By: Bertolt Brecht
Directed by: Anya Saffir
Music by: Cormac Bluestone
Running now through March 19th at the Theater for the New City
For more information, please visit: http://www.pipelinetheatre.org/

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American Idol: Season 10 - IT BEGINS!

We're baaaaack.

The show opens with the Season 10 opening credits, which once again remind us that Lee Dewyze won last season of American Idol. Yay. And by yay I mean UGH.

Ryan asks the crowd who their favorite choice is. The clear winner is Vrrahaay. I mean, that's what I heard. Is there not a contestant named Vrrahaay? Don't start trying my patience this early in the season, Seacrest.

Our top 13 is re-introduced and I am reintroduced to the fact that this season SHOULD be strong. Which means it probably won't be. Oh boy.

Theme: Personal Idols.

To the performances!

Lauren Alaina - Shania Twain - Any Man Of Mine
Wait, Laura Alaina is a county girl? I mean I know she sang country last week, but...really? How did I miss that in the auditions/semi-finals? Laura looks adorbz and has approximately zero fear. And damn. Girl can sing. Not anything particularly new or exciting, but she's cute, confident, country AND has a shit load of talent - she is already the complete Disney package.
Steven - Wished the song was more kick ass, but loves her voice
J-Lo (Yup. Calling her J-Lo) - Always sounds so amazing, wants her to kick it into high gear. Loves her anyway.
Randy - Sang it well, but she needs to show off that she can sing anything and let herself shine beyond belief. Doesn't think she even knows how talented she is herself.

Moar after the jump!




Lauren Alaina on the verge of tears cause she is a kid and sometimes kids get overwhelmed by things like this. I don't judge her for it.

Casey Abrams - Joe Cocker (The Beatles) - Little Help From My Friends
I'm expecting this to be awesome. Be awesome, Casey. BE TEH AWESOME. He "wants to be felt". Omg. Win. Oh how I love his growl. Oh how I love his inventiveness. Oh I love his humor & confidence. Oh I love his range. He makes me smile.
J-Lo - Amazing notes & pitch. She is watching somebody important. Wow. Blew her away.
Randy - So unbelievable, so exciting, hits all the notes, makes listening to him sing fun. Loved it.
Steven - Casey is a rainbow of talent. A plethora of passion. Never ceases to amaze him.

I think Casey is what everyone *wanted* Lee Dewyze to be. Lee wasn't it. Casey is. Oh god early frontrunners make me nervous.

Ashthon Jones - Diana Ross - When You Tell Me That You Love Me
Girl trying to be something she isn't yet, if she ever gets there. But damned if she isn't trying. She doesn't sound bad. Actually parts of it sound quite good. But overall, it just doesn't come together for me. Meh.
Randy - Was worried about the song choice, but he actually liked it, thought she grew as a singer, going into the vibratto when she was about to go off
Steven - Has confidence in her to show us more
J-Lo - Very elegant, very professional, wants her to sing songs that are more well known. Loves her.

There is a shot of Paul. I squeal. I think this means I'm officially in love.

Paul McDonald - Ryan Adams - Come Pick Me Up
Ohmygod his idol is Ryan Adams ohmygod I love him so much ohmygod. Ohmygod he is so cute. Ohmygod he is so weird. I want to cuddle with him. Never kick him off. NEVER. He has everything Vote For The Worst would want and everything I would want. Please keep him forever omg lovehearttt.
Steven - Loves the rasp & character in his voice, but was a little pitchy. Needs to nail it next time, but he loves his voice
J-Lo - So unique, something about him, he moved the crowd, hopes America gets it. J-Lo doesn't know Ryan Adams and Paul tells her to check him out.
Randy - Loves the character of how Paul is and loves Ryan Adams. Randy knows a lot about music. It's awesome. Paul is different, Randy hopes America gets it cause Randy sure does.

OHMYGOD THERE IS A PAUL DANCE NOW YES GOOD VOTES YES GOOD ITS A THING GOOD

Pia Toscano - Celine Dion (Eric Carmen) - All By Myself
This is a big ass song to take on. Can she handle it? It's kind of neat to have a contestant that CAN really go for these songs they always say never to do. We think she is a little too glam and serious, but she can certainly sing her face off. FACE. OFF. Face Off levels of singing. Damn, girl. Major love from the audience.
J-Lo - Literally speechless for a moment. She topped last week. Beautiful.
Randy - Always say don't tackle Whitney/Mariah/Celine, but she has that quality, she hits those notes dead on, without even thinking about it, natural gift, in awe of her. Very hot, dope, cool.
Steven - She just polished that apple! Wished her Happy International Women's Day. She slammed it. Beautiful.

James Durbin - Paul McCartney - Baby I'm Amazed
This *could* be cool. I'm intrigued. A little off at the start. But I'm actually kind of enjoying it. The song is a little bigger than he his, but he's certainly going for it. Overall, better than I was expecting from him this week.
Randy - One of Randy's favorites. Loves voices that can sing anything. Judas Priest last week, Paul McCartney this week and slayed it. Showed his sensitive side.
Steven - Kicked it into the middle of next week. Just sang his own review or something incomprehensible.
J-Lo - Advises him to let em clap when they want to clap. Melodic quality to his voice, which the greatest rock singers have.

Haley Reinhart - LeAnn Rimes - Blue
Holy effing shit I LOVE this girl's voice. She has one of the bottom line best voices on this season. Plus she's super cute! This is NOT an easy song to sing. Like. Not. Like. DIFFICULT. Holy shit. I LOVE HER.
Steven - Beautiful. America is roaring. Knew Leann when she recorded it and was a song Patsy Cline never recorded. Did such a good thing, thanks her!
J-Lo - America is getting to know her now. She can do such diverse things with her voice, very special, very unique. Really special, really good job.
Randy - Likes that she can sing anything. Thought it was a little boring. (TO WHICH I SAY WHAT?!) Thinks she is young and could be more energetic. J-Lo interjects and says Haley is always sensual and always brings it. Randy thinks it was a little sleepy.

Um. I thought Haley just KILLED it. Randy. Not the time to criticize for the sake of criticism.

Jacob Lusk - R. Kelly - I Believe I Can Fly
I'd be happy never hearing an R Kelly song again, but am actually kind of excited to hear Jacob inevitably kill it. Hmm. He infuses his own gospel flavor into the song and does an okay job. The notes this kid can hit are still stellar. Does some crazy shit in the middle. A little pitchy here and there, but he's in it. Not great overall though.
Steven - Pure passion, pure music, so good, can't judge it.
J-Lo - Very hard to judge him, make them feel so much when he sings because he feels so much. Amazing.
Randy - Has such a signature sound and that's what singing is about. Kind of fell off in the B Verse but by the end, he was unbelievable. Excited whenever he hits the stage.

Thia Megia - Michael Jackson (Charlie Chaplin) - Smile
She doesn't know who Charlie Chaplin is. Awe. Kids. Ooooh, she has a cool voice, doesn't she? Such a mature tone, I cannot believe this girl is 15. Is she tricking us? She is definitely channeling Michael with her voice on this one. Nuts that she even can. It's okay.
Randy - Loved the intro, heard the Michael in her, even heard a little Adele in there, got a little pitchy when the jazzy arrangement started, all in all good, loved the beginning more than the end. Wished whole song was like the beginning.
Steven - Agrees. Pitchy in the middle, but so new, young, sings so good -[sic] but she gave it up, thanks her
J-Lo - The beginning reminded J-Lo of last week and that's where Thia's strength is, just hearing her voice, it's transcendent. J-Lo liked seeing her movie, wants more of that, but doesn't matter, she sings like an angel.

Thia agrees and felt better in the beginning of the song. Did anyone else get to please their case and I missed it? I've probably just been distracted by thinking about Paul.

Stefano Lagone - Stevie Wonder - Lately
He starts a little off. Hope he fixes it and fast cause I think his voice his awesome. Fix it, fix it, Stefano! Yeah, just keep hitting those high notes. That's what I like. Don't go low. AH! This performance is giving me anxiety. YES, high notes, that's what we like. Studio version on iTunes is much better.
Steven - Pulled it off, built from beginning to end, was like a volcano, great arrangement, beautiful
J-Lo - Had her dancing. Not easy to take a classic ballad and do a dance remix. Sounded great.
Randy - Started off rocky, SO hard to sing Stevie, but Stevie would be proud cause by the middle of the song he was soaring and slayed it

Aw. I like him. He is nice and cute.

Karen Rodriguez - Selina - I Could Fall In Love
Starts off a little weird. Too low at the start. Not really into this as a song choice. Very generic sounding. She doesn't sing poorly, but it just doesn't really stand out. Meh and boring and forgettable.
J-Lo - She looked beautiful, but was obviously a little uncomfortable with the notes. Thinks she is normally spot on, wasn't tonight, but is really strong, so hope she makes it to next week.
Randy - Felt like she was fighting the song. A little sleepy. Not exciting.
Steven - Agrees. Energy was lacking. Knows she can sing so much better than that.

Aw. Yeah she normally sings better than that.But is kind of zzz anyway, so...

Scottie McCreary - Garth Brooks - The River
His voice IS country. He is the country of country. He makes me giggle with his spot on good voiced countryness. He hasn't quite mastered the art of holding the mic to his mouth to maximum capacity, but he'll figure that out. Ohmygod he is so country, I am loltowning over here. Audience LOVES it.
Randy - If it aint broke, don't even think about fixing it. Great song, exactly where Scottie belongs, could put a record out right now, loves it
Steven - Did the Garth justice. He is riding high like Roy Rogers. He may have also quoted Roy Rogers. (Steven. What are you saying ever.)
J-Lo - Saw him open up as a performer. Took the audience on the ride with him, was comfortable and that was great to see from him

Naima Adedapo - Rihanna - Umbrella
I was not expecting Rihanna to be Naima's idol. Hrm. That's kind of awesome that she gets to work on it with the original producer of the song. What! She dances?! A little off in terms of notes at times. My favorite parts were when she infused herself into the song. Those parts were awesome sauce. Very unexpected and interesting, glad she was wild carded into this, will be very cool to see what she does next.
Steven - She is crazy good, he loves her. She was a little pitchy, but she brought flavor tonight that no one else has done, brought another little something and he adores her for that
J-Lo - Doesn't care about the pitchy, she's got fire, dancing, reggae flavor, rapping, doing it like a real recording artist does it. Needs to work on the control. Glad she did what she did.
Randy - DOES care about the pithiness. Gotta make sure you have the breath to have the control if she's gonna dance. Loved the whole reggae thing, wants her to stay in that and go for that.

NAIMA OVERSTANDS. She doesn't understand. She overstands. SHE IS CRAY CRAY. I'm in.

Overall, an ok show. But lots of potential this year. Excited to see what happens next week. Loving having the producers helping them. Not loving the judges being too easy on everyone and picking strange times to be critical.

My top three: Casey, Pia, Haley
My bottom three: Karen, Ashthon, first half of Jacob combined with the second half of Thia
Going home: I'm really worried about Lauren Alaina. I hope she's safe. She has an amazing voice, has just been picking the wrong songs. In all honesty, Karen was hands down the weakest tonight, so I'm predicting her, but it could easily be Ashthon, who, of the two, was the one the audience didn't vote for last week.

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Topher Grace: An Ode

Topher Grace is one of those actors that I have a hard believing anyone particularly *loves* or *hates*. He's cute, funny, harmless and is really stellar at playing the unassuming boy that wants the girl. But this safe area tends to breed indifference in movie-goers, and I happen to think Grace deserves a little better than that. I personally am a big fan of the guy and in an effort to get you to love him too, see his movie this weekend, and make it a success so he can star in more movies, I'm gonna tell you exactly why.

There Aren't Enough Nerdy Leading Men

We have plenty of clinical dorks and slobs and losers and jerk types getting the leads out there, but not enough adorable nerds. In fact, I'm fairly certain there's a grand total of 3 - Grace, Michael Cera & Jesse Eisenberg. Except make that two, cause I'm not attracted to Michael Cera in the slightest. (Note: From what I've been hearing, I expect Anton Yelchin to enter this group after Sundance hit Like Crazy is released and Andrew Garfield to be the king of this type after The Amazing Spiderman.) And I don't much like it when uber undeniably hot men are trying to pretend they are sweet, sensitive and socially awkward like Grace's That 70s Show co-star Ashton Kutcher most recently attempted to pull off in No Strings Attached. Believe it or not, we all buy it a lot more if the sweet nerd is played by someone who ::gasp:: actually looks like one. Grace has pulled this off with younger women (Scarlett Johansson) older women (Laura Linney), similarly aged women (Kate Bosworth) and me, in my dreams/fantasies/fan-fiction. Plus, following in the massive footsteps of folks like early Lemmon, Stewart and Hanks, Grace is extremely likable yet non threatening, a rare, but coveted quality in a leading man. Why Hollywood doesn't seem to be taking more advantage of this fact is beyond me.

He Makes Nerdy-Sexy Work in Any Decade

Typically on a TV show, I tend to have a crush on the nerd, not the "hot" one. On Buffy I loved Xander, not Angel and on That 70s Show, I loved Eric, not Kelso. And as much as I loved the bell bottoms and floppy hair, I crushed just as hard on Grace in Win a Date with Tad Hamilton (which I've obviously seen MANY times) and In Good Company, and if the Take Me Home Tonight Atomic Tom music video is any indication, I will love him just as much decked out in 80s garb. Not every actor can seamlessly pull of his distinctive type in multiple decades, but apparently the clever wirey guy who loves the girl from afar has always existed. At least in the past 40 years. Ooooh. I just decided I really want to see Topher Grace bring his awkward hotness to a period piece. Ooooh, that would be so weird. Oooooh, someone make that happen. Ooooh.

He Was The Best Part Of Valentine's Day

He was the only part of Valentine's Day. Seriously. I tuned everything else out. I have no idea what happened in that movie.

He Has An Obstacle To Overcome

Coming from a series like That 70s Show has challenges right away. Much like coming from a CW show or the Disney channel, the odds are stacked against you from the start - you have something to prove when entering the world of film. And the results have been varied. On the one hand, you have Mila Kunis, who requires no explanation other than WIN, and on the other hand, you have Wilmer Valderrama who for all I know could be raising bunnies in Nepal, in between dating women with a penchant for rehab. Ashton Kutcher is like, okay, as an actor, sure, Laura Prepon is...working and Danny Masterson opened up a restaurant or a fashion line or a restaurant/fashion line, but whatever it is, it's not acting. Long story short, the post-show careers are a mixed bag, and Grace could go either way at this point. I vote for supporting him in his efforts towards Kunis-dom in every way possible.

He Can Kick Some Ass

He has used his nerdly powers to fight Spiderman AND predators. Well, in Spiderman 3 it was mostly CG Venom doing the fighting and in Predators, Grace did more wearing glasses and whining than actually fighting anyone or anything. But, you know, in theory.

He Makes Dead Eyes Look Gooooood

Don't act like you haven't noticed his dead eyes. And don't act like they don't turn you on a little bit. Shhh, it's okay, I'm not judging.

He's A Triple Threat

Well, "triple" "threat". In that besides being an actor, he wrote the story & executive produced Take Me Home Tonight. Granted, those jobs aren't quite as daunting as writing a screenplay or actually producing a movie, but hey, it's something. It shows initiative. creativity, and if the story is any good, an entirely different kind of talent.

Not convinced? Watch this and try telling me you don't want to make out with him. I won't believe you. Okay, so upon further consideration, the entire thrust of my argument here is that I like nerds and thus think Topher Grace is really sexy and further thus want everyone to see his movie. I am totally fine with this.

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What Would It Mean If _____ Won Best Picture?

At this point the race has really come down to The King's Speech vs The Social Network to walk away with Best Picture come Oscar night. Or if you like to believe almost every prognosticator ever, just The King's Speech. But I refuse. REFUSE. Because at the end of the day, we don't really know what the Academy is going to do. Sure, they more often than not follow a particular formula, but they've also gone completely out of the box from time to time (Marcia Gay Harden, anyone?) so we decided to take a look at what it would mean should something more unexpected take the win Sunday night. A breakdown of what would it mean if each nominated picture won, in order of most likely to least likely.

The King's Speech - Same old same old. Traditional wins out over exciting or new. What I think this practically means is Academy members saw The Social Network months ago and saw The King's Speech most recently out of the nominated 10, as The Weinstein Company sent it well after every other screener had arrived. It warmed members' hearts, so they marked it on their ballot and sent it on its way. Timing is often everything when it comes to the Oscars. Also possible that The Social Network simply didn't hit them the way The King's Speech did and with the academy members' ages generally skewing older, it could be that TSN just didn't read to them, though I'm kind of offended by the idea that "age" = "unable to understand anything new," Andy Rooney. Mostly, should this happen, it means everyone sucks.

The Social Network - Ten nominees is working out! It means the riskier, more passionate choices actually have a shot winning over more old fashioned options. This may mean members took the time to re-watch The Social Network, re-fall in love with in and re-appreciate everything that's brilliant about it. Could also mean many voters decided to go with the objectively better film over the one that may have given them stomach fuzzies, but would be forgotten in years to come.  Most likely, this means anyone who *didn't* vote for The King's Speech or The Social Network for #1, ranked The Social Network higher than The King's Speech in their preferential ballot. Also, this means everyone rules.

The Fighter - Ah the beauty of low expectations! Here we have a movie very much marketed as one thing while it was in fact another. The anti-schmaltz sports story, it was dark, funny, brilliantly acted. It could have been such a delightful surprise to Academy members, that it ended up staying in the highest of regard come ballot time.

True Grit - Ah the beauty of beauty! Plus the Coen Brothers! The most gorgeously shot of the bunch, True Grit was quite the feat in that it was a classic Western in every way while simultaneously being distinctively Coen Brothers. And it is a legitimate star maker, introducing us to Hailee Steinfeld. A nice combination of beauty, heartfeltness, great filmmaking and humor, if True Grit wins, it means Academy members ignored what they were being told was the "old school favorite" and *actually* voted with their hearts. Because if we ARE taking age into consideration here, wouldn't members more likely be fans of the WESTERN, a classic AMERICAN genre, over a period piece like The King's Speech, when 3 Westerns have won Best Picture but a film centered around a British monarch never has? So if we're talking nostalgia/old fashioned, shouldn't that lie with the Western for the American voter?

Black Swan - Don't underestimate the power of the cray-cray . Only one horror film has ever won Best Picture, but it has happened. When executed well enough, it stands a chance, and Black Swan certainly fits that bill. If it wins, it means members decided to go with the movie that stuck with them the most, that got under their skin and affected them beyond the experience of just sitting & watching a movie. Or they just want to support lurid fantastical lesbian sex scenes. Which is just as valid a reason.

Inception - Similar to Black Swan in motivation, it would mean Inception stuck with members, changed the way they dreamed, was a source of discussion for weeks, and when it came time to mark the ballot, was the film that jumped out as having most transcended the common movie going experience. Inception winning over Black Swan means that science fiction has become a truly legitimate genre when it comes to Oscar films, it's what Silence of the Lambs did for Horror and Return of the King did for Fantasy. Will be really nice when this finally happens for Sci-Fi. Which, by the way, will not be this year. Just. You know. FYI. Sigh.

The Kids Are All Right - Everyone finally realized their political fallacy by choosing Crash over Brokeback Mountain in 2005 and decided to make up for it by selecting The Kids Are All Right for the win, which happens to be a much superior film to Brokeback anyway. Said it. Or, the real reason, since, believe it or not, personal beliefs actually *don't* play a role when selecting the best movie of the year, members think fondly on the warmth, originality, careful direction and stellar performances that came from such a small film that really says something about the here and now, and ultimately thought to let a true underdog upset.

Winter's Bone - There just aren't enough movies about backwoods meth addicts. Academy members want more. MOAR SQUIRREL GUTTING PLZ. OH AND METH, MOAR METH TOO K THX. Or members ended up going for the quiet, underdog nature of the truest indie of the bunch. Note: They didn't.

Toy Story 3 - Disney called in all of their favors and had too much hanging over too many people's heads for anyone to say no.

127 Hours - We've entered into an alternate universe where Fincher's Benjamin Button swept two years ago for and now it's Danny Boyle's "turn". Because that is the only possible explanation for 127 Hours winning Best Picture.

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The Second Annual Fangirl Award Winners!

The results are in! Our Fangirl Academy, now 87 members strong, both nominated, then voted for their favorites from 2010. You can find all of the nominees, honorable mentions and winners below.

If you like a little suspense with your awards, watch the videos below! Note: We only have 9 categories to offer you in "suspense" form. A few videos were having trouble uploading, but should be up for your viewing pleasure later today.

After the videos, you'll find all the winners typed out, once again, following Nathaniel R's method of highlighting first place in gold, 2nd in silver and in some cases, 3rd place in bronze. Thanks to the fangirls who participated in voting and in presenting! I hope next year we have an even bigger academy and even more fangirls presenting :). Sign up to be a voting member for next year's awards, by clicking here.

Best Picture

Black Swan

Blue Valentine

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part One

Inception

The Kid's Are All Right

The King's Speech

Scott Pilgrim V. The World

The Social Network

Toy Story 3

True Grit

Honorable Mentions: The Fighter, Shutter Island, Easy A

Best Actor

Colin Firth - The King's Speech

Leonardo DiCaprio - Inception/Shutter Island

Jeff Bridges - True Grit

Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network

Ryan Gosling - Blue Valentine

Honorable Mentions: James Franco - 127 Hours

Best Actress

- Show quoted text -


Julianne Moore - The Kids Are All Right

Natalie Portman - Black Swan

Haliee Steinfeld - True Grit

Jennifer Lawrence - Winter's Bone

Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine

Annette Bening - The Kids Are All Right*

Honorable Mentions: Emma Stone - Easy A

Best Supporting Actor

Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech

Joseph Gordon Levitt - Inception

Christian Bale - The Fighter

Andrew Garfield - The Social Network

Mark Ruffalo - The Kids Are All Right/Shutter Island

Honorable Mentions: Jeremy Renner - The Town, Matt Damon - True Grit, Keiran Culkin - Scott Pilgrim

Best Supporting Actress

Helena Bohnam Carter - The King's Speech

Melissa Leo - The Fighter

Amy Adams - The Fighter

Barbara Hershey - Black Swan

Mila Kunis - Black Swan

Honorable Mentions: Marion Cotillard - Inception, Olivia Williams - The Ghost Writer

Best Director

Christopher Nolan - Inception

Darren Aronofsky - Black Swan

David Fincher - The Social Network

Edgar Wright - Scott Pilgrim V. The World

The Coen Brothers - True Grit

Honorable Mentions: David Yates - Harry Potter GHP1, Danny Boyle - 127 Hours, Debra Granik - Winter's Bone

Best Adapted Screenplay

Danny Boyle & Simon Beaufoy -127 Hours

Aaron Sorkin - The Social Network

Joel & Ethan Coen - True Grit

Edgar Wright & Michael Bacall - Scott Pilgrim v. The World

Michael Arndt - Toy Story 3

Honorable Mentions: Harry Potter DHP1, Winter's Bone, The Town

Best Original Screenplay

Mark Heyman, Andres Heinz & John McLaughlin - Black Swan

Christopher Nolan - Inception

Lisa Cholodenko & Stuart Blumberg - The Kids Are All Right

Scott Silver, Paul Tamasy & Eric Johnson - The Fighter

David Seidler - The King's Speech

Honorable Mentions: Blue Valentine, Please Give

Best Score

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - The Social Network

Daft Punk - Tron: Legacy

Hans Zimmer - Inception

Alexandre Desplat - Harry Potter: DHP1

Clint Mansell - Black Swan

Honorable Mentions: Danny Elfman - Alice in Wonderland, A.R. Rahman - 127 hours

World I Most Want To Visit

The Wizarding World - Harry Potter: DHP1

The Grid - Tron Legacy

Underland - Alice in Wonderland

The Dreamscape - Inception

Stylized Toronto - Scott Pilgrim V. The World

Honorable Mentions: Berk (How to Train Your Dragon), Narnia (Dawn Treader)

Best On Screen Animal

Pascal - Tangled

Maximus - Tangled

Toothless - How To Train Your Dragon

Little Blackie - True Grit

Hedwig - Harry Potter

Honorable Mentions: Cheshire Cat, Secretariat, Reepicheep

Best Chemistry - Romantic - Film

Amy Adams & Mark Wahlberg - The Fighter

Drew Barrymore & Justin Long - Going The Distance

Carey Mulligan & Andrew Garfield - Never Let Me Go

Rupert Grint & Emma Watson - Harry Potter DHP1

Natalie Portman & Mila Kunis - Black Swan

Anne Hathaway & Jake Gyllenhaal - Love & Other Drugs

Michelle Williams & Ryan Gosling - Blue Valentine

Annette Bening & Julianne Moore - The Kids Are All Right

Mark Ruffalo & Julianne Moore - The Kids Are All Right

Michael Cera & Mary Elizabeth Weinsted - Scott Pilgrim V. The World

Honorable Mention: Ben Affleck & Rebecca Hall - The Town, Gwenyth Paltrow & Robert Downey Jr - Iron Man 2, Steve Carrell & Tina Fey - Date Night

Best Chemistry (or is it?) (Mostly, yes) - Platonic - Film - TIE for Bronze

Colin Firth & Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech

Daniel Radcliffe & Emma Watson - Harry Potter DHP1

Tom Hardy & Joseph Gordon Levitt - Inception

Michael Cera & Keiran Culkin - Scott Pilgrim V The World

Hailee Steinfeld, Jeff Bridges & Matt Damon - True Grit

Andrew Garfield & Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network

Will Farrell & Mark Wahlberg - The Other Guys

The Mad Hatter & Alice - Alice in Wonderland

Nicholas Cage & Chloe Moretz - Kick Ass

Emma Stone, Stanley Tucci & Patricia Clarkson - Easy A

Voiceover Performance

Steve Carrell as Gru - Despicable Me

Tom Hanks as Woody - Toy Story 3

Zachary Levi as Flynn Rider - Tangled

Mandy Moore as Rapunzel - Tangled

Jay Baruchnel as Hiccup - How To Train Your Dragon

Honorable Mentions: Tim Allen - Toy Story 3, Kristin Schaal - Toy Story 3, Craig Ferguson - How To Train Your Dragon

Epic Fail Movie - Genre

Clash of the Titans

Jonah Hex

The Last Airbender

Twilight: Eclipse

Nightmare on Elm Street

Epic Fail Movie - Non-Genre

Sex and the City 2

The Bounty Hunter

Grown Ups

Yogi Bear

How Do You Know?

Best Characterization of an Established Figure

King George VI - The King's Speech

Scott Pilgrim - Scott Pilgrim V. The World

The Mad Hatter - Alice in Wonderland

Tony Stark - Iron Man 2

Mark Zuckerberg - The Social Network

Honorable Mentions: Sherlock & Watson - BBC's Sherlock, Rapunzel - Tangled, Al Capone - Boardwalk Empire, Dicky Euckland - The Fighter

Best Fight/Battle Sequence

Scott/Ramona/Knives/Gideon (Final Battle) - Scott Pilgrim

Arthur's No Gravity Hallway Fight - Inception

Hit Girl Infiltrates Mob Building (Final Battle) - Kick Ass

Scott Pilgrim v. Exil Ex #1 - Scott Pilgrim v. The World

Scott Pilgrim v. Exil Ex #3 (Vegan) - Scott Pilgrim v. The World

Black Widow Hallway Takedown - Iron Man 2*

Honorable Mentions: Scott Pilgrim v. Exil Ex #4, Final Fight - The Fighter, Final Fight - Red, Rooster & Mattie v. Ned - True Grit, Snow Fortress Attack - Inception, Light Cycle Race - Tron: Legacy

Guiltiest Pleasure - Film

Burlesque

Twilight: Eclipse

Tron: Legacy

Salt

Machete

Splice*

Honorable Mentions: The Losers, Step Up 3D, When In Rome, Red, Morning Glory

Best Animated Film

Despicable Me

How To Train Your Dragon

Megamind

Tangled

Toy Story 3

The Illusionist*

Best TV Show - Drama

Mad Men

Fringe

Dr. Who

Lost

The Walking Dead

Honorable Mentions: Boardwalk Empire, Caprica

Best TV Show - Comedy

Glee

Modern Family

30 Rock

Community

The Big Bang Theory

Honorable Mentions: How I Met Your Mother, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Best Actor - Drama TV

Jon Hamm - Mad Men

Steve Bushemi - Boardwalk Empire

Andrew Lincoln - The Walking Dead

John Noble - Fringe

Bryan Cranston - Breaking Bad

Honorable Mentions: Hugh Laurie - House, Michael C. Hall, Dexter, Matthew Fox - Lost, John Slattery - Mad Men, Terry O'Quinn - Lost

Best Actor - Comedy TV

Don Glover - Community

Chris Colfer - Glee

Jim Parsons - The Big Bang Theory

Ty Burrell - Modern Family

Joel McHale - Community

Honorable Mentions: Alec Baldwin - 30 Rock, Steve Carrell - The Office, Eric Stonestreet - Modern Family, NPH - How I Met Your Mother

Best Actress - Drama TV

Christina Hendricks - Mad Men

Elisabeth Moss - Mad Men

Katey Sagal - Sons of Anarchy

Anna Torv - Fringe

Kelly McDonald - Boardwalk Empire

Honorable Mentions: Juliana Margulies - The Good Wife, Connie Britton - Friday Night Lights, Polly Walker - Caprica

Best Actress - Comedy TV

Alison Brie - Community

Sofia Vergara - Modern Family

Julie Bowen - Modern Family

Jane Lynch - Glee

Tina Fey - 30 Rock

Honorable Mentions: Amy Poehler - Parks & Rec, Heather Morris - Glee, Alyson Hannigan, HIMYM, Kaley Cuoco - The Big Bang Theory

Best Chemistry - Romantic TV - TIE for Bronze

Eric/Sookie - True Blood

Chuck/Blair - Gossip Girl

Chuck/Sarah - Chuck

Marshall/Lily - How I Met Your Mother

Pam/Jim - The Office

Beckett/Castle - Castle

Boones/Booth - Bones

Roger/Joan - Mad Men

Olivia/Peter - Fringe

Dexter/Lumen - Dexter

Best Chemistry - Platonic TV

Abed/Troy - Community

Jack Donaghy/Liz Lemon - 30 Rock

Neal/Peter - White Collar

Don Draper/Peggy Olsen - Mad Men

Amy/The Doctor - Dr. Who

Peter/Walter - Fringe

Al Capone/Jimmy Dormety - Boardwalk Empire

Casey/Morgan - Chuck

Pam/Eric - True Blood

"The Gang" - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Guiltiest Pleasure - TV

Glee

Gossip Girl

Pretty Little Liars

Vampire Diaries

True Blood

Actor I Most Want To Marry 2010

Joseph Gordon Levitt

Tom Hardy

Andrew Garfield

Ryan Gosling

Jon Hamm

Nathan Fillion

Ryan Reynolds

Robert Downey Jr.

Mark Ruffalo

Matt Damon

Honorable Mentions: James Franco, Leonardo DiCaprio, Rupert Grint, Jesse Eisenberg

Woman I Most Want To Marry 2010

Emma Stone

Christina Hendricks

Natalie Portman

Mila Kunis

Michelle Williams

Olivia Wilde

Carey Mulligan

Julianne Moore

Scarlett Johansson

Keira Knightly

Most Overrated

Glee

Twilight: Eclipse

Toy Story 3

Lost

Anne Hathaway

Honorable Mentions: Olivia Munn, The Black Eyed Peas

Most Underrated - TIE for Silver

Caprica

Fringe

Friday Night Lights

Shutter Island

Archer

Supernatural*

Honorable Mentions: Flipped, Raising Hope, Going The Distance, The Town

Best Graphic Novel

Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour

Xed Out

Batwoman: Elegy

Richard Stark's Parker: The Outfit

The Shepherd's Tale

Honorable Mentions: Return of the Dapper Men

Best Comic Series

Buffy Season 8

The Unwritten

The Walking Dead

American Vampire

Batman & Robin

Honorable Mentions: Chew, Daytripper, Uncanny X-Men, Invincible Iron Man

Best Video Game

Halo: Reach

Red Dead Redemption

Call of Duty: Black Ops

Mass Effect 2

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood

Honorable Mentions: Fable 3

Best Villain - TIE for Bronze

Sue Sylvester - Glee

Voldemort - Harry Potter DHP1

Gideon Graves - Scott Pilgrim v The World

Clu - Tron

Ivan Vanko - Iron Man 2

The Man In Black - Lost

Lotso - Toy Story 3

Bellatrix LeStrange - Harry Potter DHP1

Subconscious Mal - Inception

Russel Edgington - True Blood

Honorable Mentions: Cheney - True Grit, The Rock - 127 Hours, Cooper - Red, Van Alden - Boardwalk Empire

Best Musician/Band

Arcade Fire

Mumford & Sons

Daft Punk

Vampire Weekend

Girl Talk

Honorable Mentions: Katy Perry, Eminem, Amanda Palmer, Broken Bells, She & Him

Best Book

Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins

Just Kids by Patti Smith

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest by Steig Larsson

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

A Visit From The Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

Extra Lives by Tom Bissell*

Honorable Mentions: Full Dark, No Stars by Stephen King, Room by Emma Donohuge

Most Romantic Line EVAR 2010 - TIE For Bronze

"You were my new dream." "And you were mine" - Tangled

"You were the only thing that got me through. If it wasn't for you I would never have made it back. You saved my life" - Fringe

"Kiss me, James" "You got it, Blondie" - Lost

"I'm in lesbians with you" - Scott Pilgrim v. The World

"The deluminator. It doesn't just turn off lights. I don't know how it work but Christmas morning, I was sleeping in this little pub, keeping away from some Snatchers, and I heard it. A voice. Your voice, Hermione. You said my name. Just my name. Like a whisper. So I took it, clicked it and this tiny ball of light appeared. And I knew. It flew towards me, the ball of light, right through my chest and straight through me. Right here. And I knew it was going to take me where I needed to go." - Harry Potter: DHP1

"You're waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope this train will take you, but you can't be sure. But, it doesn't matter. Because we'll be together." - Inception

"In my experience, the prettier a girl is, the more nuts she is... which makes you insane. You're probably nutty coo-coo crazy." - Blue Valentine

"If I meet the true death without at least kissing you, Sookie Stackhouse, that will be my biggest regret." - True Blood

"You're my home, Chuck. You always have been." - Chuck

"When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them." - Scott Pilgrim v. The World

Best Fan Outreach

 Scott Pilgrim v. Comic-Con

Networks/Studios Using Twitter In Q&As (Syfy Fridays, Community DVD, etc)

Firefly References on Castle

ElecTRONica at Disneyland

Tron at Comic-Con (Flynn's Arcade/End of the Line Club/Panel)

Marvel at Comic-Con (Avengers Assemble! Panel, Dealer's Room Booth)

Walking Dead Campaign - Comic-Con, NYCC, Win a Walk on role, etc.

Mad Men Yourself Twitter Icons

@ThatKevinSmith's Twitter Account

Machete Taco Truck

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